The lyf so short

The last six weeks sure went by quickly

Wed, 11 Aug 2021 10:19:28 GMT

This night, I dreamt that I was driving the kids home, but we couldn't use the usual road, so I had to take exceedingly long deviations that all ended at another road block because of yet another mudslide or yet another damaged bridge. In the end, the latest deviation took us down to what looked like the seashore (although my rational mind decided that it must be the Great Dhünn reservoir because we don't have any seas around here), and the road along the shore was flooded, but there were cars going in front of me and I just anted to get home at last, so I figured it would be alright, and then suddenly the road broke away and we were underwater and, presumably, drowned, because that's when I woke up.

My region isn't actually that badly affected by the torrential rains and floods, although curiously some uphill suburbs have been affected (more than, say, downtown Cologne which is right along the River Rhine). Maybe those marsh areas were there for a reason and the city shouldn't have declassified them for building? Just a thought. The bridges down in the valley have, for the most part, been damaged (some have been clean swept away O.ó), but those are pedestrian bridges. On Sunday we did have to take a detour because one of the road bridges was blocked, and I expect that's where the dream took its inspiration from, but we didn't have to drive through actually flooded streets at any point.

Well, very briefly, while we were in Normandy. The rainstorm that later devastated parts of Belgium, the Netherlands and central Germany parked its ugly ass there first, probably to soak up some more sea water, but it also rained on us the first two days of our stay before it moved on north-east, leading to some flooded streets while the sewerage tried to catch up. BUT all water will eventually follow the call of gravity down into the adjacent sea, there's a reason why the towns and villages and fields sur mer are all raised above the roads, the fields can hold a lot of water if they have to, and it's a sparsely settled, rural region (Bayeux, the largest town, has one third of the inhabitants of my (small!) home town). Back home, more and more free fields (even the marshy ones) are getting sealed and built on, and that means that the water has nowhere to go. Which doesn't make the losses any less awful, but many of them are the results of decades of mismanagement and turning a blind eye on a) pre-existing weather conditions (WHY DO YOU THINK IT WAS A MARSH) and b) exciting new desasters brought to you by humanity.

It is also a problem when people still think that actively taking measures against the consequences of climate change is defeatism (or too expensive). Awareness and self-flagellation alone will not save us. Do we need to lower our CO₂ emissions? For sure. Do we need to invest in flood and heat protection etc. to deal with the damage that cannot be reversed anymore? Damn it, yes!

Some people complained that the reservoirs were "too full" even before the rainstorm, but after last summer was so arid, you can't be surprised when reservoir management holds on to every single drop of water. Now they overflowed (or in some cases dams were opened to let the water go in a controlled manner), which I understand is shitty for already soaked places downstream, but let's be honest, if the dam bursts, that's even shittier.

(By not entirely coincidence, climate change and the extreme/unpredictable weather conditions that result from it were the last topic I covered with my 10th graders in geography before they left school for good. I couldn't have asked for a better demonstration, but somehow I can't be pleased.)

Anyway. It has been A Summer.

As it was, the dream wasn't really about the flood, of course. My final exam is now just a month away and I haven't gotten nearly the amount of prep work done for it that I wanted. In part, this is to blame on going to Normandy for a week, Erfurt for two days and the Black Forest for a long weekend. You're never away just the time you're travelling, there's also the packing and other preparations. All of these trips were much-needed breaks, but they did take away from my prep time. In between, a week was spent on restauring our wastewater wetland (NOT as a result of the rains, but because the rhizomes of the reeds were starting to push out the gravel after 10 years of growing), which also required my help and again tore me out of the core curricula and school laws brainspace. It doesn't help that the stuff I have to write is thoroughly boring and redundant, and I have to try and make it less redundant while still satisfying all the formal requirements, which may be an impossible task. And next week the new term will start, so all the remaining work will have to be juggled alongside regular school work. Joy.
It all adds up to, I guess, dreams about drowning.

The problem with such dreams is that the sense of doom and despair stays with me for hours after waking up, even when the whole thing has been safely identified as a dream, and I need to actively think myself back into the dream (which, for obvious reasons, I Do Not Want) and mentally continue the storyline in a way that leads to a safe ending just to exorcise the damned thing.

Meh.

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SCHOOL'S OUT FOR SUMMER!

Fri, 12 Jul 2019 13:37:10 GMT

And thus ends my first year as a teacher.

I hope I'll manage to write more about it later (I know, I know, I always say that) but for now, let me just join my students in exulting at the beautiful prospect of FREEDOOOOM!!1!!

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Three more days!

Mon, 17 Dec 2018 17:37:05 GMT

Three more days until Christmas break. Can't wait. The students can't wait either. They've been restless and overexcited for weeks now, and it was hard to get them to focus on anything. The older students are no longer all that excited by Christmas itself, but they certainly can't wait for the holidays, either. So it's been a challenge.

In the middle of that challenge, I had my first observation lesson. Like any trainee teacher, I spent three days agonising over the lesson and preparing an elaborate plan, only half of which I managed to realise in the end. But the kids managed to work along well (both their class teacher and I had informed them about the importance of the observation lesson) and, more to the point, keep from chatting or running around (which they usually do). They lost all self-control as soon as the auditors were out of the door, of course! And then in the debriefing the principal observed that "Obviously, the kids were doing you a favour". Crap! He saw straight through it! But fortunately he felt that this was also a good sign. "If you can get the kids to help you during observation, that means you're a teacher they care about." Well, as long as he sees it like that!
So it would appear that I'll continue teaching there for the time being. Stability! Or something vaguely like it, at least!

Not really, of course, because (duh) organising my work life, Jörg's work life, and the kids' life is not at all stable. Teaching gives me a more predictable schedule than working at the magazine did, but there are regular conferences. And unfortunately I let myself be elected into the directorate of Julian's kindergarten, so on top of normal work, there are regular meetings in the evening to sort out kindergarten stuff, which is... a lot. Especially recently. Crab mentality is strong among the teachers, so whenever one of them rises above the others (to, incidentally, the good of the whole team), the rest will drag her down and make her life hell for good measure. Then there's the aging manager who has to do both the work of a teacher and the work of a manager because it's a small kindergarten, resulting in burn-out but a sense of duty too strong to get the rest (or help) she needed. It's a hot mess and I wish I hadn't gotten into it. The other two directors have already resigned so we need to elect two new ones first thing next year, and now I feel duty-bound to stay on board so at least one person on board knows what went on this year. Graaaah.

Speaking of burnout, Jörg has now returned to work. I think I only ever alluded to that and I can't be bothered to write it all up now. Suffice it to say that in March - on the day of my grandfather's funeral, just to lighten the mood - he was hospitalised with what looked like a heart attack. Fortunately, his heart turned out to be absolutely fine, but the symptoms had to come from somewhere, and the doctors eventually decided that they must be physical symptoms caused by severe psychological distress. So they put Jörg on extended sick leave. Those who know him know that he has been suffering in his workplace for years (make that a decade, actually), so that definitely did him well. Then in October he got a place in rehab, and now that that's over, it was back to work. It went as (un)well as was to be expected. Let's see what the future brings. No renewed heart attack symptoms, psychosomatic or otherwise, one hopes.

Felix managed to catch laryngitis in school and has passed it on to me. He, being a student, got a week off school out of it (we managed to organise that). Me, being a teacher, has to continue going. Very few of my students take pity on a teacher with an extremely sore throat; they continue chatting in class like they always do. The 5th graders definitely need to be handled like 1st graders. Some of them either never learned school rules like not running around during lessons ("But I was only going to borrow a ruler!") or talking to their bffs during class ("But it was really important!") or, heaven help us, having all their material on their desk at the beginning of class ("I can't write it down! I don't have any paper left!") or forgot all about it. The time you waste on making sure that everyone has paper (and borrows a ruler from their neighbour, rather than someone at the other end of the room)! It's funny now that I write it down, but it's just frustrating while it's going on. At some point you start asking yourself whether they're genuinely unable to get it, or whether they're winding you up.

But! Only three days left until the vacations! And then I'll try to get into a seasonal mood so the kids get a festive Christmas. I just want to rest and recuperate, dammit! (I expect Julian will fall ill once the rest of us have recovered. There's always something. :P)

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Back home, back online

Tue, 20 Jun 2017 20:39:56 GMT

Sooo, time to fess up: I wasn't just internetless for a week, I was away from home for two, too! Nobody will be surprised at this point that this year's vacation - the last vacation in which we were independent from the school holidays and their ludicrously raised prices for presumably a long time - took us to Britanny once more. Yes, it was good. No, it was not long enough. A picspam is probably imminent. If I manage to sort through the hundreds of pictures while trying to take care of stupid adult priorities and the garden, that is. Don't hold your breath.

Speaking of school, while we were gone Felix' future teacher called and left a message. True to the school's assurances that each and every student is supported individually, she would like to meet Felix in advance so she and the classroom will be familiar, and also so she can decide which (if any) books to get for him instead of the standard. I am positively impressed.

Speaking of books, while we were gone, my signed copy of Flowers of Luna arrived! Fortunately, the post office held it until I was back. Snail mail was faster than expected. Thank you so much, Jen, your dedication made me blush and it's going to be so much fun to read FoL as a real! physical! book! <3

Speaking of books again, re-reading ~~A Game Of Curule Chairs~~ the Cicero trilogy for the third time. Repetitio obviously placet because I CANNOT STOP. Are we witnessing the beginnings of a new obsession or are we already well past the beginning stage? You decide. Seriously, ALL THE FEELS.

Speaking of obsessions, the gorgeous Vanity Fair shots from The Last Jedi are also instilling me with all the feels. ALL THE FEELS YOU GALS. This one, for instance,

begs two questions, namely,
1) how long until I try to replicate that rebel alliance gambeson, because seriously, it's awesome and
2) does the slash write itself or DOES IT WRITE ITSELF?

Having now proven that I have a long way to go as far as adult priorities go, I think I shall retire to bed. YES, WITH CICERO. I know, I know, desperate stay-at-home moms in their mid-thirties are supposed to fall for Edward the Sparkle Vampire, not dead Roman politicians! (Guest commentary from Jörg: "I know you have a thing for older men but that's a bit excessive, don't you think?") Whatevs!

Night night!

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