Great adventures with small animals

The sounds that 'náro and Caesar (the neighbours' cat) are making right now sound a lot like the sounds two kendôka make when circling each other, both trying to catch the other at unawares, both trying to make the other insecure, both trying to lure the other into making a mistake.
They do not sound like cats at all.
They really sound like two humans speaking gibberish with some real words interspersed in kind of choked voices.

I could've sworn someone just said "Booooon voyage" in a kind of choked crazy voice (think the Joker) just outside my door. (I assure you that "Booooon voyage" in a Joker kind of voice is NOT what you want to hear when you're all alone at half past midnight. It sounds like someone outside just finished their preparations for blowing up your house.)

'náro replying "Boooooku wa, boku waaaaa" is no less unsettling. (You are what, oh precious my kitten? At least finish your bloody sentences!) Who taught the cat Japanese?

I'd interfere, but somehow I suspect the multilingual kendô cats wouldn't appreciate it. Besides it'd probably ruin 'náro's reputation if I came out to snatch him away from a hearty round of Insult Catfighting...

Away from the cats! Tell us of the the tit! you'll say. That's a dear little thing, does nobody* any harm, shits all over the place but hey! Too small to do any damage, right?
WRONG.
The tit likes to perch pretty much everywhere. It no longer likes sitting on our hands, which is good, because it's supposed to be a wild bird. That also means it no longer allows us to touch or carry it, though, which is a problem because we'd like to set it free but it refuses to be set free.
Oh well, we can open the windows and it'll fly out, right?
Wrong again.
When the tit first learned flying, it flew into the (closed) windows a few times, which obviously taught it that the Two Bright Holes Through Which You Can See Trees are not safe and cannot be flown through. It does not know that when the window is open, it can very much be flown through. There were a lot of very impressive mid-flight turns and swerves whenever it found itself flying towards one of the windows now.
So the tit is still inside until we can somehow lure it out.
In the meantime, it has ruined both our construction floodlights. (We occasionally need those, when it's dark outside or inside and we need to build anyway.) They were cheap things anyway, and one of them had, this winter, lost one foot (which is kind of a problem with a tripod), but we'd repaired that as well as possible. It was standing safely again, as long as nobody kicked it over.
We are not needing them at the moment because June in the Northern hemisphere tends to be a time where you stop working before it goes dark, so they were up in the future guestroom, current junk room that is also, at the moment, the great tit's small world. (It's a 25 m² junk room with two windows, before anyone panics about ZOMG BIRD IN JUNK ROOM.) And because, as I mentioned, the tit likes to perch everywhere, it also likes to perch on the lamps.
This should not be a problem. It's a small bird. It's not a heavy bird. Even a repaired tripod should easily hold a small light bird.

Unless apparently that small light bird takes off so enthusiastically that the momentum suffices to push the lamp over, of course putting most of the strain on the formerly broken foot, causing it to break again, which in turn causes the lamp to fall over and - wait for it - push the second lamp over as well, breaking a foot of that tripod, too.
Brilliance.

Which, I suppose, firstly teaches us never again to buy the cheap option because it's, well, cheap, and surely it'll be sufficient for our purposes, because no, it won't be.
And secondly it teaches us never to underestimate small birds and applied physics.

And now the cats have finished their Insult Catfight (TM) and I can go to bed.
Oof.

*except flies, caterpillars, plant lice and other even smaller animals