The lyf so short

SOOO for the purpose of this month's SWG challenge I am re-reading Humphrey Carpenter's Tolkien biography. (The topic of the challenge is love stories. The muses insist on an essay. Don't ask.) I know I keep saying that, but maybe I haven't yet said it here, so let me put it out here: I really really wish that Tolkien's biography could be turned into a movie at some point, because WHAT A LIFE, WHAT A CHARACTER. Seriously, it would be like Angela's Ashes, only with more Elves?

But anyway. I stiiiill haven't fouuuund what I'm looking for, but I have found plenty of great anecdotes. I know some posts have been making the rounds on Tumblr about John "Road Rage" Tolkien, and him and C.S.Lewis attending a party (NOT a costume party) dressed up as polar bears, and these are indeed delightful tales, but there are so. many. more. Many of which have been dear to my heart for years but I keep forgetting half of them and only recall them upon re-reading, so let me share them now.

There's the debating society thing, where young JRRT gives his maiden speech on a motion supporting the objects and tactics of the suffragettes. I had completely forgotten about that! How unexpected is that! Mind you, considering that this is the school debating society, everything should probably be taken with a grain of salt as it may purely be meant to provoke. But as this is also the source of the motion (probably of his own devising) 'That this House deplores the occurrence of the Norman Conquest' and the '[...]sudden flood of unqualified abuse upon Shakespeare, upon his filthy birthplace, his squalid surroundings, and his sordid character', two convictions which appear to be taken as set in stone by a lot of fans and scholars, that's certainly interesting. ("his filthy birthplace, his squalid surroundings and his sordid character"? I mean YMMV but does that sound like it's supposed to be taken literally? Incidentally, I find it curious that Carpenter adds "probably of his own devising" to the thing on the Norman Conquest, since he earlier related the story of the teacher who insisted on the use of plain old English words rather than posh Norman loan words, cf. muck vs. manure. So yeah, the speech may have been Tolkien's, but the idea? Less so? Incidentally incidentally, for a linguist who supposedly so hated the Norman influences on the English language, Tolkien certainly uses a shitload of Anglo-Norman words in the Lay of Leithian, starting in fact with "Lay", but what do I know.)

Anyway.

There's the delightful description of Tolkien's graduation: 'The school-porter was sent by waiting relatives to find me,' [Tolkien] recalled years later. 'He reported that my appearance might be delayed. "Just now," he said, "he's the life and soul of the party." Tactful. In fact, having just taken part in a Greek play, I was clad in a himation and sandals, and was giving what I thought a fair imitation of a frenzied Bacchic dance.' (I WOULD PAY GOOD MONEY TO SEE THAT ON SCREEN OMG.)

Then it's off to Oxford and the typical town vs. gown rags: 'At ten to nine we heard a distant roar of voices and knew that there was something on foot so we dashed out of College and were in the thick of the fun for two hours. We "ragged" the town and the police and the proctors all together for about an hour. Geoffrey and I "captured" a bus and drove it up to Cornmarket making various unearthly noises followed by a mad crowd of mingled varsity and "townese". It was chockfull of undergrads before it reached the Carfax. There I addressed a few stirring words to a huge mob before descending and removing to the "maggers memugger" or Martyr's Memorial where I addressed the crowd again." [emphasis mine]
*rolls under the table in helpless laughter* Fëanor? Fëanor is that you?

Or a brief return to his old school where he met up with his friends of the T.C.B.S. to perform the first ever play by an English dramatist performed at King Edward's School in Birmingham. After their performance of Sheridan's The Rivals, "the school magazine reported: J.R.R.Tolkien's Mrs Malaprop was a real creation, excellent in every way and not least so in make-up." AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH! (Aside from the fact that it amuses me to no end that this super-obsessed linguist would play Mrs Malaprop of all characters, I also relish the idea of Tolkien's exploits as cross-dresser.)

On that note, this also had me rolling my eyes: [...] while as to homosexuality Tolkien claimed that at nineteen he did not even know the word.
That's such suspiciously specific phrasing that I immediately feel reminded of the "Exact Words" section over at TVTropes. I mean, I can practically see the entirety of the interview: "And was there any kind of, hm, homosexual behaviour at your all-male school, Prof. Tolkien?" - *deadpan* "Homosexual behaviour? Good God, at that age I didn't even know the word. *chews on pipe* Back then, we simply called it buggery." - "CUT! CUT!"

...
At any rate, I think these crazy little episodes deserve more attention because a lot of fandom (and even more of "scholarship") has this mental image of Tolkien as this unworldly, uptight, super-serious scholar. So let's not forget that this supposedly unworldly, uptight, super-serious scholar danced on the table wearing nothing but a sheet and sandals, or hijacked a bus (WTF WTF?!) and made stirring speeches to a crowd of Oxford students and citizens (AHAHAHAH), and who strutted around on stage in petticoats and make-up. I think Tolkien scholars in particular could benefit from the occasional reminder of a frenzied Bacchic dance. Also, sympathising with suffragettes? I guess this is where Erendis got her rhetoric?

But of course the "Charge 'em and they'll scatter" story is gold as well. So keep on reblogging it, it makes me happy whenever I see it.

Today's XKCD wins my heart for various reasons.
I might consider adopting this approach whenever I hear someone else propagate the "medievals believed the world was flat" myth in the future...

Speaking of The Silmarillion, there's a Silmarillion Fandom Opinion Survey.
It's quite useless, to be honest, as it is extremely limited and only addressing one thing that apparently is a big issue in the fandom as represented on Tumblr. But hey, go there and skew the demographics a bit, or something. (I especially love how apparently these days, having been in the fandom for over 5 years makes you practically Unbegotten. I think most of my f-list is composed of people for whom 5 years means nothing, and 5 years is pretty random considering that the PJ movies are by now a whole decade old.) But oh well. It appears to be mostly tongue-in-cheek, so who am I to take it seriously?

Right. I'll go pester my bees now. Laters!

Discovered via samtyr.

That.
(Also, all about capitalisation of proper names. Because Mommy is not just a nerd - she's also a proud member of the language use police...)

(Appropriate icon is appropriate. And this, my bonny boy, is what they call a tautology!)

Because why write entries I should've written weeks ago when I can waste time on a meme?

Name a fandom you know (or you think) I might know, and I will tell you these things.

1. The character I first fell in love with
2. The character I never expected to love as much as I do now
3. The character everyone else loves that I don’t
4. The character I love that everyone else hates
5. The character I used to love but don’t any longer
6. The character I would totally smooch
7. The character I’d want to be like
8. The character I’d slap
9. A pairing that I love
10. A pairing that I despise

- - -
Actually, there are not many fandoms for which I can answer these questions. While there are a few fandoms and series that I'm at least vaguely familiar with, in most of them I'm not emotionally invested enough to have favourite characters or know about common pairings or so. But hey, we can try!

Done:
- The Lord of the Rings (requested by samtyr)
- The History of Middle-earth (requested by shadowbrides)
- The Silmarillion (requested by elenbarathi)
- Firefly (requested by lainvess)

You gals are almost as predictable as I am. ;)

... today's Google logo certainly is one. XD

... because this really amused me to no end.



Now, of course, I will spoil the fun and point out that the OP actually has a point. Even if they've read the book, I think we're all aware that the movies (movieS!) are (are going to be) slightly to wildly different. And even if they weren't, having read the book still doesn't prepare you for the visuals, because whatever you imagine in your head will not necessarily look much (or even one bit) like PJ's version.
So "don't spoil me" for the first movie to a book that's been in print in England for 75 years isn't nearly as stupid as they're making it sound.

The replies are still funny, though, aside from the "You haven't read the book" smartass who just might be missing the point.

Me, I'm not going to see the Hobbit for a couple of days (possibly weeks) either, due to lack of available babysitters. But I'm not avoiding spoilers. In fact, I'm diving into LJ friends' spoilery film reviews head first, because reading their squees and gripes is almost as good as discussing a movie you've just seen with the friends with whom you went to see it. Except I haven't seen it. Never mind. I probably won't be able to see it with much company, looking at how difficult it is these days to find a day and place that fits everyone. So reading on LJ shall be my surrogate!
(I am currently re-reading the book for the first time in a decade. I may regret that later. Or maybe I won't. I was surprised to discover, for instance, that this Azog dude is totally mentioned in the text! I had forgotten him if I ever noticed him at all. Also absurdly excited that the German edition of the Annotated Hobbit (shut up, I won it fair and square, so I might as well read it before Felix has torn all the pages out) contains (of course) translated material from the HoME which has hitherto not been translated into German. This is good because clearly, more German people are going to read the Annotated Hobbit in German than they're going to read the HoME in English? I SAY SO ANYWAY.

Also, the "food in fantasy" rant/ramble is now more imminent than ever, but not today. Now I must make food for ourselves. I've rambled enough for the moment!

Over on Mark Reads, Mark has reached the Fangorn chapter in The Two Towers.
And he notes:

( Spoilers for TTT if you SOMEHOW missed it, hence I'm cutting this )

Ok. I guess this is the point where I should explain about Mark Reads to those of you who don't know it yet. (I dunno, don't you? Sometimes I'm, like, the latest to find out about these things. But maybe I'm not, this time. So just in case...)
So there is this guy, Mark. He reads books. And then writes about his reading experience, chapter by chapter. Now currently he's ploughing his way through LotR, and here comes the catch: By some strange fate, he is completely unspoiled. Hasn't heard a summary, hasn't seen a movie, hasn't even seen a parody or trailer. He is blessedly unprepared. He has no idea whatsoever. I have no idea how this is even possible, but it is wonderful.
I don't know, do you have that feeling when you finish a book for the first time, and you liked it, where you're half happy to know how the story ends, and half sad because you'll never be able to read that book for the first time again? Of course re-reads are beautiful, you always pick up on stuff you missed the first time around - but on the downside you know the plot twists now, and you're no longer breathlessly turning pages to find out what happens. The best appropriation is when you've talked a friend into reading that book as well, and then get to watch his or her reactions with a big grin of OH THE THINGS I COULD TELL YOU BUT I DON'T WANT TO SPOIL IT.
And that's why I love Mark Reads - because it feels just like that. Bless his beard. It's fun to see the things he does and doesn't pick up on, or the unspoken information he gathers as he goes along.
Today's review I didn't enjoy so much because it's entirely in ALL CAPS and my brain feels like someone shouted at it for a long time, but on the whole... so much fun.

(He also uses the most adorable swears. "Son of a motherless bumblebee" may be my favourite. I wish I were speaking English just so I could introduce this into everyday conversation.)

I'm still giggling at the line quoted above. Too perfect. *is really twelve*
XD

This night, Felix slept almost six hours in one piece. I'm almost rested!

Unfortunately, I still have a headache from the day before yesterday, when Felix was very unhappy and fussy and had to be either carried around or nursed all the time and still often didn't stop crying. (I was running around pretty much in Minoan court fashion all day because there was just no point in covering up :P) The headache is the sort of headache that comes from a stiff neck. Yesterday my legs also hurt something awful, but at least they are back to normal now. Either it was the walking around/ sitting uncomfortably, or the cold that's been going around at Jörg's workplace and that he may well have handed down to me. Or us, come to think of it - Felix has been coughing a few times in the past days, and sometimes breathed as though his respiratory tract was partially blocked. And he was, as I said, pretty unhappy and peevish. Poor little man, and of course the crying and the lack of sleep gets to us grown-ups, too.

Boss lady still hasn't sent new work, so yesterday, in an attempt to feel productive, I went on a MEFA reading/reviewing spree. I actually managed to review 11 stories in a go, that's possibly more than I did in the past two years combined. (>_>) If I keep this up for a couple more days, I'll actually review all the pieces on my wishlist, which would be a Good Thing and make me feel all accomplished. (Even though my wishlist is reasonably short this year - 50 stories - because I assembled it with the utmost prejudice - that means I'll probably miss many good stories, but oh well, I'll hopefully also miss most of the stories that'll only piss me off anyway - with only a few "this premise sounded too interesting to miss" surprises thrown in. And the one single piece of Roverandom fanfiction! <3)
As ever, I am fascinated by some of the genres that appear to be really, really, really popular in the fandom. I don't get them at all. Legolas hurt/comfort, for instance. Yawn. But then other people in the fandom surely don't get my obsession with the Sons of Fëanor, or Númenor, so all's well. Takes all kinds to make a world, even in subcreation-subcreation. I'm just fascinated that some people are capable of moving in all of them! But that's just my prejudice.
While sorting through the many nominations, I encountered a hilarious warning. I am skeptical about warnings on stories because they tend to be overused and I sometimes facepalm at the things people feel the need to warn about* - but there was one story where the warnings made me laugh out loud. It went:
Warning: Flagrant disregard for canon. Egregious librarian abuse. Plagiarism -- both alone and with someone else.⁽¹⁾ Rated PG.
The story as such seems to be not my thing - not my characters, not my genre - but I'm tempted to read it anyway just because the warning is so awesome.
(The footnote, possibly the most delicious detail, references the origin of the Plagiarism -- both alone and with someone else line. Which is really the most awesome thing ever. In this year, anyway, and if you're German or familiar with German politics in particular. Well, and I guess you'd need to be familiar with confessional formulae, too. Oh, gods, context. Why did I leave academia again?)

The bees, alas, were stupid. When you unite two hives, you're supposed to brush all the bees of the weaker hive in front of the box of the stronger hive so they have to find their way in on their own - that way, the queen (or any laying workers) are stopped and killed by the guard bees and there won't be any war or regicide going on inside the old hive. Anyway, the point is you can't just put the frames of the old hive into the other.
My boxes are placed on a wooden palette so they have even footing, and also so that, should there be a lot of snow (as there was in the past years) fresh air can still find its way into the hive from below. So there's a height difference between the ground and the entrance of the hive. For which reason I built a ramp from the lid of the now-empty box (the ground as such would've been too cold for the bees at this time of year). That's what they tell you to do in the bee-keeping courses, too. Foolproof, they say. Works every time. Bees are smart.
Yeah. Guess what the bees did?
Instead of marching into the hive, they balled up underneath the ramp. Where, of course, a goodly amount of them froze. Fortunately, only the outer layers - inside the ball they were still warm and alive.
So I took the ramp away and instead balanced a board right in front of the entrance, and then brushed the bees onto that board, and then most of them made it into the hive before it started sleeting. *facepalms*
(Yes, it's late in the year to unite hives, but as November was so mild, it wasn't clear then whether it would actually be necessary -- I had to wait for colder temperatures. Unfortunately, we didn't get dry cold but wet cold...)

While dealing with the bees, I had to leave Felix alone, inside, in his cot - of course. (That is, I couldn't take him along to the bees, of course - and I had to leave him alone because there was no daddy or mom-in-law or other babysitter available during daylight. It was only twenty minutes anway.). By the time I came back he was screaming in panic, and he was crying so hard that the tears were pooling in his ears. I have no idea how people can still propagate leaving babies (even younger than Felix is now, at that!) to cry as a measure of teaching them to be on their own and not pester their parents. In the olden days, when we didn't know all the things about heartrates and stress levels and the way the infant mind works -- but today? ARGH. (Jörg recently asked me why I was getting so worked up about what my aunt had said. This is why. Grandmothers are grandmothers, but she's of our - well, his - generation and could know better.)
Anyway, I felt like a rotten mother for the rest of the day. Felix, on the other hand, calmed down as soon as I cradled him and gave him suck and kissed the salt streaks away, and was back to his cheerful, curious, cuddly self afterwards, so I assume I have been forgiven...

Tenant lady dropped by this morning to say that the mice were back in their ceiling. >_> Hopefully it's just because we finally put the heating ducts inside as opposed to up the outside walls and haven't yet blocked all the passageways into the house (as I said, until recently it was pretty mild outside - and Jörg is back to normal work, which in December is particularly stressful because of the delightful "Whoops there goes the year" brand of planning, so construction work is only possible on Sundays), so that problem will be solved easily. Otherwise, I foresee another Week From Hell (TM) like we had in summer when I was just out of the hospital...

And that's it from Lyra-land for today, or for the moment anyway.

- - -
*dawn_felagund has once parodied this tendency: "Warning for sex (sometimes graphic), blood and violence, mature themes, Maedhros as the main character, Feanor hugging his kids, someone sitting in a purple chair and looking at a goldfish, dirty Kleenex in Chapter 5, Maglor being present in some of the scenes, and cheese." And yes, sometimes it really feels like that.

In amusing news, I wasn't aware that the new OpenOffice writer collected words from all documents you open in it. And then tries to be helpful by recognising the letters as you type, and suggesting auto-completion options based on the words collected throughout your previous typing. (A horrible feature, I have no idea why people would want their writing program to do that, how is that supposed to help anyone? But fortunately I found out how to deactivate it.)

Anyway -- the first documents I opened were a couple of fanfics for B2MeM, and a Quenya/English wordlist.

No, Writer, I actually meant to write "that", not "Thargelion". And "car", not "Carnistir". Thanks for trying, I guess, but... no. (And the auto-completion list reads... interestingly. Very interestingly. Good that I'm the only one who uses this computer.)

This is almost as bad as the over-helpful Office paperclip. Just more funny. Bzuh.

Ich lese gerade - Tusch, Trommelwirbel - einen Ratgeber. Eigentlich kann ich Ratgeberbücher nicht leiden, weil sie (nach meinem Empfinden) meistens am Problem vorbeireden oder gar ein Problem schaffen, wo eigentlich gar keins sein muss, und der Nutzen am Ende bestenfalls ratloses Schulterzucken und schlimmstenfalls ein miserables Gewissen ist, weil man schließlich gerade so einen klugen Ratgeber gelesen hat und trotzdem kein besserer, klügerer, schlankerer, sozialverträglicherer oder glücklicherer Mensch geworden ist.

Dass ich diesen Ratgeber überhaupt lese, ist fuchs Schuld, weil sie mir überhaupt erst davon erzählt hat, und zwar nicht nur, worum es allgemein geht, sondern auch von dem Stil, in dem es darum - nämlich das Prokrastinieren - geht. Letztlich ist dieser Ratgeber nämlich eine Parodie auf Ratgeber. Das wiederum ist mir natürlich ausgesprochen sympathisch.

Wie in "guten" Ratgebern üblich, befindet sich am Kapitelende eine Sammlung total einfacher und immens hilfreicher Übungen, mit denen man sich den Inhalt des Kapitels veranschaulichen kann, so dass man in Zukunft ganz ganz ganz bestimmt nie wieder die alten Fehler macht. Bei mir hat es schon gereicht, die Übungen nur zu lesen, um mich ausgesprochen amüsiert und unheimlich erleichtert zu fühlen (Verhaltensweisen ändern muss ich nicht mal, denn diese habe ich bereits verinnerlicht! \o/). Deswegen dachte ich mir... tu was Gutes! Teile sie mit deiner Umwelt!

Hier also fünf einfache Übungen zur Entwicklung der richtigen Geisteshaltung gegenüber wichtiger Aufgaben und zum einzig vernünftigen Umgang mit Prokrastination, nach Passig, Kathrin und Sascha Lobo, 2008. Dinge geregelt kriegen - ohne einen Funken Selbstdisziplin. Berlin: Rowohlt.

5 einfache Übungen

1. Zeitungen Seite für Seite ins Altpapier geben, um so zu erlernen, wie man eine größere Aufgabe in übersichtlichere Einheiten zerlegt.*

2. Auch mal ein Getränk zwei Jahre vor Ablaufdatum austrinken. Schon hat man eine Aufgabe lange vor der Deadline erledigt.

3. Einige Kabel wohlgeordnet in eine Tasche legen. Eine Stunde abwarten, die Tasche wieder öffnen. Den entstandenen Kabelsalat betrachten und dabei über die Sinnlosigkeit menschlichen Ordnungsstrebens meditieren.

4. Auf Bahngleisen sitzen oder liegen. Rechtzeitig aufstehen, bevor der Zug kommt. Diese Übung vermittelt ein Gefühl für das Tempo, in dem die Deadline herannaht, auch wenn vorher lange Zeit gar nichts passiert ist.

5. Den perfekten Mord planen, dann kurz vor Ausführung darauf verzichten. Darüber nachdenken, dass Untätigkeit leben retten kann.

:D
Was mich nämlich an Ratgebern AUCH gern nervt (wenn ich denn mal studienbedingt sowas lesen musste oder in Zeitschriften drüber stolpere), sind diese wahnsinnig nützlichen Alltagsübungen, mit denen man vorgeblich das Besserer(klügerer, schlankerer, etc.)-Mensch-Sein inkorporiert und sich de fakto eigentlich nur lächerlich macht...

\o/!

- - -
*Anmerkung der Bloggerin: Lustigerweise tue ich ausgerechnet das tatsächlich - allerdings deshalb, weil ich alte Zeitungen nicht zur Füllung der Altpapiertonne, sondern zum Anzünden des Kachelofens benutze, wobei einzelne Seiten ideal, ganze Zeitungspakete dagegen ungeeignet sind...