The lyf so short

OK, den Tiefgang dieser Unterhaltung verstehen vielleicht nur die Leute, die viel mit Eltern oder Erziehern abhängen. Mit den eigenen Waffen geschlagen!

Felix: Was ist das?
Ich: Was ist was?
Felix: Was du da anhast?
Ich: Ein Pullover.
Felix: Was für einen Pullover hast du an?
Ich: Ich trage einen grauen Pullover mit Vierecken drauf.
Felix: Mit schrägen Vierecken.
Ich: Ja, genau, mit schrägen Vierecken. Diese Art schräges Viereck nennt man übrigens Raute.
Felix: Du hast einen grauen Pullover mit weißen, hellblauen, helltürkisen, grauen und schwarzen Rauten an. Wie viele Rauten sind auf deinem Pullover? Sind es 44 Rauten? Kannst du sie mal zählen?
Ich: *versuche ernst zu bleiben und zähle die Rauten* 1, 2, 3....45, 46, 47, 48. Auf meinem Pullover sind 48 Rauten.
Felix: 48 Rauten sogar! Gut gemacht!
Ich: *breche endgültig zusammen*

Dazu passt ein Video, das elenbarathi gestern verlinkt hat...

Jörg (checking his e-mails): Oooh, I've been invited to a "business sailing trip".
Moi: Huh? Like one of those team-building experiences?
Jörg: No, apparently it's for professionals from all sorts of different fields. A networking thing. "Meet'n'greet".* (short pause) Or "drink'n'sink", given the circumstances...


- - -
*"Meet'n'greet" and "networking" are common (English) terms in (supposedly) German business talk.

... bevor ich die schönen Sprüche mal wieder vergesse:

(Die Oma schaut mit Felix ein Bilderbuch an.)
Felix: Eine Kuh! Die frisst Gras!
Oma: Ja... und dann gibt sie Milch!
Felix: Und Apfelsaft!

(Beim Baden. Felix kontrolliert, ob alle Körperteile noch anwesend sind.)
Felix: Der Felix hat einen Popo!
Ich: Ja, stimmt.
Felix: Die Mama hat auch einen Popo!
Ich: Ganz genau. Wir haben alle einen Popo.
Felix: Zum Pups machen!

(Abends beim Fernsehen. Ein knallharter Army-Typ stellt sich vor.)
Knallharter Army-Typ: Ich habe in Afghanistan Basen bewacht...
Moi: *nur mit halbem Ohr zuhörend* Er hat Vasen bewacht?
Jörg: *ohne mit der Wimper zu zucken* Ja, er war Militär-Florist.

Sorry, gals and guys, that one isn't really translateable.
Or actually it is, it just doesn't come across as snappily:
(We're watching TV. Some badass army guy is introducing himself.)
Badass Army Guy: I guarded bases in Afghanistan...
Moi: *not really paying attention* He guarded vases?
Jörg: *without batting an eye* Yes, he's a military florist.

Over on Mark Reads, Mark has reached the Fangorn chapter in The Two Towers.
And he notes:

( Spoilers for TTT if you SOMEHOW missed it, hence I'm cutting this )

Ok. I guess this is the point where I should explain about Mark Reads to those of you who don't know it yet. (I dunno, don't you? Sometimes I'm, like, the latest to find out about these things. But maybe I'm not, this time. So just in case...)
So there is this guy, Mark. He reads books. And then writes about his reading experience, chapter by chapter. Now currently he's ploughing his way through LotR, and here comes the catch: By some strange fate, he is completely unspoiled. Hasn't heard a summary, hasn't seen a movie, hasn't even seen a parody or trailer. He is blessedly unprepared. He has no idea whatsoever. I have no idea how this is even possible, but it is wonderful.
I don't know, do you have that feeling when you finish a book for the first time, and you liked it, where you're half happy to know how the story ends, and half sad because you'll never be able to read that book for the first time again? Of course re-reads are beautiful, you always pick up on stuff you missed the first time around - but on the downside you know the plot twists now, and you're no longer breathlessly turning pages to find out what happens. The best appropriation is when you've talked a friend into reading that book as well, and then get to watch his or her reactions with a big grin of OH THE THINGS I COULD TELL YOU BUT I DON'T WANT TO SPOIL IT.
And that's why I love Mark Reads - because it feels just like that. Bless his beard. It's fun to see the things he does and doesn't pick up on, or the unspoken information he gathers as he goes along.
Today's review I didn't enjoy so much because it's entirely in ALL CAPS and my brain feels like someone shouted at it for a long time, but on the whole... so much fun.

(He also uses the most adorable swears. "Son of a motherless bumblebee" may be my favourite. I wish I were speaking English just so I could introduce this into everyday conversation.)

I'm still giggling at the line quoted above. Too perfect. *is really twelve*
XD