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olorielI know that my beloved thinks that I give too much for other people's opinion, but I can't help it. And it annoys me badly when I drive to university and hear the lady on the radio talk about how Troy is not a movie for women because women, after all, don't like movies with big battles and pathetic heroes, and hairy men's legs in sandals we can see at every beach, and we want real horses, not wooden horses, and we want love stories anyway, but then again, it has Brad Pitt and Orlando Bloom, so maybe it's worth seeing.
Fuck you. I'm a woman, I like big battle scenes and some (some!) pathos, I like oldfashioned clothing and armor and legends come to life. I'm not alone, and I'm tired of hearing that sort of stuff. Gah.
And our newspaper, bitching about how Wolfgang Petersen gave up so many chances for great political statements. Probably it's just me, but I actually don't see much reason to stuff big political statements into the adaptation of a thousands-year old legend, other than what is already there in the line of political statement (and make no mistake, there is).
Hm. The trailer for The Day after Tomorrow makes me want to write some sort of Akallabêth/ Day after Tomorrow crossover fic. If I had the time.
That said, I saw the movie in question yesternight. Altogether, I liked it, although my short summary below probably will sound like I didn't. But it was okay, really. Not exactly like the book, but after all, it only says "Inspired by Homer's Iliad" in the end credits. No, I did like it.
Cut for length, potential spoilers and those who don't care.
Intro
First, we see a map, drawn by hand, to show Greece and Troy. Lettered in English, but oh well. Of course, anyone who wouldn't find Old Europe on a map doesn't have much use for this map anyway, but now we have a rough overview.
Old kings yaddayadda want peace by simply uniting all kingdoms under themselves yaddayadda.
Agamemnon vs Thessaly
We see two armies marching towards each other. When they come to a halt, their respective kings start discussing. They're indeed old men, and they decide that they just have their respective best warriors fight each other, and the outcome of that duel will decide the outcome of the war. King of Thessaly calls for Boagrius, a big, scarred WWF outcast with muscles for a brain. Agamemnon calls for Achilles, who doesn't show up. A hastily sent messenger boy (someone in the audience named him Frodo) finds Achilles "recovering" from a night ill-spent with two beautiful women. First naked Brad Pitt scene. After some bitching, Achilles goes to the battle, not without letting everyone know he's doing this so his name won't be forgotten.
Agamemnon is slightly pissed and suggests he'll have Achilles whipped for his insolence. Achilles is slightly pissed and suggests Agamemnon can fight for himself. For lack of motivation, he just stabs Boagrius in the shoulder, which decides the battle in favor of Agamemnon, who is not Achilles' king, as is pointed out to ex-king of Thessaly.
A Party in Sparta
Eric Bana looks good as Hector. Very noble, intelligent, kind and slightly angsty.
Orlando Bloom looks like Legolas with black curls. He's exchanging glances with Helen, who looks less like a Greek than like a German ex-model (oh, wait, she is). She's pretty enough, though. While he husband, Menelaus, talks about how he's ensured peace between Sparta and Troy and so on, he leaves, soon followed byLegolas Paris. She says having sex with him was a mistake the other night, he asks about the night before and she says she's made a lot of mistaked this week. Then she undresses and weeps because he'll leave tomorrow. He says she might come with him. She does. (Here's the love story, by the way, for the women who don't like battle movies. Real horses will follow. Sexy Men, too.)
The Hitch-hiker's Guide to Troy
Hector andWill Paris are standing at the prow of their ship, looking good, when the latter asks his big brother whether he'd defend him against everything. Since Paris has last asked Hector that question when he had stolen Priam's horse, Hector is nervous and stops making a toy lion for his son. Paris admits that he has taken a hitch-hiker from Troy and Helen reveals herself. Hector wants to return her to Sparta, Paris says he'll go with her, then, and challenge Menelaus. Hector takes both to Troy.
Dude, Where's My Wife?
Menelaus discovers that Helen is gone and is rather annoyed. He asks Agamemnon for support. Agamemnon agrees because he'll win Troy and then he'll be the evil overlord of everything. Menelaus is not quite happy because he wants to kill his ex-wife but doesn't want to have Agamemnon getting all the reknown.
Some councillor suggests that Troy might be something of a challenge and they might need Achilles. But Achilles doesn't fight for free and doesn't like Agamemnon, as we learned in the beginning. However, he will listen to one man...
Slash Is In The Air
Achilles and Patrocloswho looks so much like a girl that I'm always surprised to hear him talk with a man's voice are fighting each other. Patroclos is quite good, but Achilles beats him all the time anyway. We see a chariot nearing, so Achilles greets him in his traditional token way: He throws a spear at him. The newcomer removes his helmet to reveal Boromir Odysseus *purr*. Hugs, kisses, small-talk, ambiguous remarks directed at Patroclos, and by the by, Agamemnon wants to beat up Priam, so whaddya say, you come along, 'cause then your name will sure be remembered later?
A Wedding and An Act of War
We see the happy party-people of Troy celebrating Paris' wedding. Hector looks slightly less happy. Priam (my goodness, Peter O'Toole has grown old, but he still looks good) isn't exactly happy either, though he pretends to be, hugging and kissing everyone and flattering Helen exceedingly. [By the way, I like it that they show that back in the day men would hug and kiss each other. Then again, with all those sexy men running around half-naked or clad in metal or leather, you probably can't help doing that anyway.] We learn that Briseis has become a priestess which has made all young men of Troy very sad. Hector is reunited with his beautiful wife and not so beautiful baby son.
Later on, Priam and Hector have a bit of a talk and he asks whether all Troy is to burn for this woman. Heavy Foreshadowing Music.
Helen and Paris are talking too. Helen says they're coming for her. Paris suggests they could run away, he could still make sure they'll survive. Helen says they'll burn down Troy anyway. Paris looks angsty.
The Achilles Complex
Achilles meets his mom, who is searching for shells because her son loves necklaces (whee!) and says that when he'll not go to Troy, he'll grow old and have many many children who'll have many many children, and when his children and his children's children and their children and so on are dead, his name will be forgotten. If he'll go to Troy, he won't come back, but his name will be remembered forever. That settles it.
Yo Ho, Yo Ho, An Immortal Name For Me
We know this from the trailer: One Ship. Three Ships. Six Ships. Ten Ships. Lots Of Ships.
The Trojans have just finished making ramparts when the bell is rung to announce the arrival of the Greek fleet. One ship is slightly ahead. That's Achilles who can't wait to make his name remembered forever. His blue-eyed faithful servant-sidekick asks whether he doesn't want to wait for Agamemnon. He doesn't, because, after all, it's not Agamemnon's name he wants to make remembered forever. Androgynous Patroclos wants to fight but Achilles won't let them. He just tells his warriors that on this shore, immortality awaits them. [I think Brad Pitt will have to play Ar-Pharazon at some point.]
Having arrived on the Trojan shore (almost knocking over a camera in the process of landing), Achilles and his cool warriors start beating up Trojans. Achilles annoys Apollon by beheading a golden statue of said god. Whoever said the gods weren't mentioned in this film? They are. All the time.
Good Thing There's Parking Space For A 1000 Ships Here
Achilles & Co have already killed a bunch of priests and hastily-called Trojan warriors when Hector arrives at the temple. Hector is disgusted by the blasphemy and challenges Achilles all on his own. Achilles doesn't want to kill him here where no one sees it and sends him back home. Agamemnon and his army of 50,000 warriors have finally arrived. After some beating each other up, they make an encampment.
Achilles' blue-eyed faithful sidekick shows him that they've captured Briseis for his amusement. Achilles tries to wash himself, which doesn't quite work out, but at least it gives us a chance to look at his muscles. Talking to Briseis, he turns human and says that unlike every other Trojan, she doesn't have anything to fear from him. Then he's called to Agamemnon, who still hasn't turned human but insults him. Suddenly, Briseis turns up in his tent. Achilles wants to blackmail Agamemnon into giving her back, but Briseis is too proud for that sort of thing. Achilles goes back to his tent to sulk and says he won't fight until Agamemnon comes to beg.
The Council ofElrond Troy
Inside some Trojan temple. The generals say that they'll beat the Greek up. Hector says they won't. The priests say the omens are auspicious and let's beat the Greek up. Paris says he'll go and challenge Menelaus to bring an end to this war. Priam isn't happy, but willing to sacrifice his younger son to prevent all his people from dying. At least he givesNarsil The Sword Of Troy to Paris. He, his closer family and Helen take up good front seats on the walls so they can see what happens.
You're cheating.
So, in the next morning, Hector and Paris ride out to meet Agamemnon and Menelaus. Menelaus is willing to accept Paris' challenge, but Agamemnon isn't there for Menelaus' wife but for his own imperialistic crusade. Menelaus suggests that once he has won, Agamemnon can still attack Troy. Agamemnon is d'accord.
Hector gives Paris some advice which doesn't help much. Paris andHamish Menelaus fight for a while and Paris gets badly smashed up. When he's disarmed and helpless, he forgets that he is a hero prince of Troy and crawls at Hector's feet. Menelaus is angry because that wasn't in the contract.
Good Omens
When Menelaus gets too annoying, Hector kills him. The Greek attack, and Paris and Hector have to run for their lives. Nonetheless, Paris almost ruins it all because he has to run back for The Sword Of Troy. Now they're all fighting and beating each other up. It seems as though the priests were right about the auspicious omens, because eventually the Greek are forced to retreat, followed by the Trojan hordes. Hector is smart enough to stop them before they come in reach of the Greek archers. He permits everyone to look after their dead, so we get to see some Greek funeral rites with big pyres. Probably they had to end the war because they couldn't afford all those gold coins after a while.
Yet Another Love Story
Agamemnon wants Achilles to fight again, but he doesn't beg. Odysseus is sent to convince Achilles, but he can't, because apparently, an unforgotten Sulking Hero Achilles is just as well as any other unforgotten Achilles. Sulking Hero Achilles gives orders to pack up and go home. Patroclos is disappointed.
Agamemnon thinks he's a smart man because he hasn't done anything to Briseis as of yet, except that he's given her over to his men who are just trying to do something to her when Achilles beats them up and frees her. He wants to clean her up, which she can do herself, thank you very much. They have some deep philosophical discussions. Briseis says that if Achilles were only a brute, she might forgive him, but since he's intelligent also, she must despise him. At night, she wants to kill him as he lays all naked on his furs. Instead, they end up having sex.
Good Omens II
The priests are proud because they read the omens correctly for once. Since the morale of the Greek is obviously at a low point, they suggest they should attack them now. Hector points out that if the Greek are attacked directly, that would unite them whereas they're now in discord. He also noticed Achilles didn't fight, but is afraid he would when attacked directly. The priests, however, don't want to wait behind the strong and invincible walls of Troy. Priam asked whether they're sure about the omens, which, of course, they say they are.
Fireball
So, at night, the Trojans walk up to the Greek encampment and shoot burning arrows into the sand. The point of that action becomes clear when they start rolling big balls made of straw and wood down the hill, which catch fire and smash the ramparts, some ships and many Greek soldiers. They try to defend themselves when suddenly Achilles comes running up. Hector is dismayed and goes to fight him. He manages to kill Achilles quickly, which makes him wonder. When he removes Achilles' helmet, he sees Patroclos and is even more dismayed because he knows that Achilles will sure fight now. Hector and Odysseus agree that this was enough for one nightand go off in search of some quiet place.
My Name is Achilles. You killed My Cousin. Prepare To Die.
Achilles wakes up feeling very good. Coming out of the tent, he's sort of confused because his men have fought without him. Blue-eyes Faithful Sidekick explains how they thought Patroclos was him, and how Patroclos is sort of dead. Achilles beats up Faithful Sidekick and dons armor.
Hector does likewise, after he has shown his wife a secret tunnel out of the city. Then we see the whole Trojan royal family in their front seats watch as Achilles comes up to challenge Hector. Jumping out of his chariot, Achilles walks to the gates of Troy and calls for Hector, once, twice, three times, four times. [Actually, Brad Pitt might want to play Fingolfin at some point, too.] The archers want to shoot him, but Hector says no. He bids his farewells to everyone and then goes to meet his fate. He wants to make a contract with Achilles, guaranteeing the proper funeral rites to whoever won't survive this duel, but Achilles doesn't want to. Their beating each other up is impressively choreographed. As we all know, dear, noble, kind, intelligent Hector is killed and dragged behind Achilles' chariot. Cut to the dead one's weeping family; Helen looks just a bit to excited and enchantedas though she were thinking "Yay! Blood! Death! Humiliation! Cool! And all because of me!".
A Decent Murderer
When Achilles returns to Briseis, she starts crying because that means Hector is dead. Strangely, Achilles doesn't take offense at her obviously preferring him dead. But she spends the night elsewhere, which she must, because Achilles is alone when Priam comes crawling in to beg for Hector's dead body. After some discussion, Achilles wraps Hector's remains up and returns them to Priam. Just then, Briseis enters the scene again. Priam is surprised that she's alive. Achilles says she's free, and if he ever hurt her, he's sorry. He also grants Priam a truce of 12 days for the funeral, and acknowledges that Priam is a much better king than Agamemnon.
[And I'm still crying for Hector. Dammit.]
Inspiration Is Found In Strange Places
The latter isn't happy to hear about the truce, because, after all, when everyone's busy burning Hector, that's a good time to attack. Achilles says they'll never take the wall either way and goes off to apologize to Faithful Sidekick for beating him up. Faithful Sidekick says Achilles may beat him up any time he likes to, and it was an honour to serve him. Achilles nods and disappears in darkness.
Odysseus, meanwhile, is sitting with the soldiers around the campfire. His neighbour is making a toy horse for his son at home and asks Odysseus whether it's good. Odysseus says that a horse is a very good idea indeed. The Greek start collecting wood, which must be difficult because they already burned up so much for the funerals.
He Should Have Listened To His Son
After the twelve days of Hectors funeral, the Trojans are surprised because everyone's gone. They find some Greek corpses that look as though they had died of the plague, which the accept as an explanation for the sudden disappearance of their enemies. They also find a big wooden horse. The priests say it's a sacrifice to Poseidon because the Greek want to return home safely, so let's take it to our temple of Poseidon. Paris says he has a bad feeling about this and it's ugly and let's just burn it. The priests say it's a sacrifice to the gods and you can't burn it. As always, they get their way, and we see happy dancing Trojans while the horse is dragged into the city. Some mounted Trojan messenger sees the hidden Greek fleet but is shot down.
Weak Spots
When it's dark and all the Trojans are drunk, Odysseus, Achilles and the others leave the horse, kill the guards and open the gates. The Greek army comes running into the city and finally does what they've come here for, pillage, plunder, rifle, loot, drink up, me hearties, yo ho, and burn up the city.
While they're at it, Andromache tries to find everyone to leave through the secret tunnel. Paris won't come along in spite of Helen's pleas, because Briseis is missing once again. He hands over The Sword Of Troy to cute young Aeneas, keeping only his bow and arrows, and runs off in search of Briseis, who is also being searched by Achilles.
The latter finds her just as Agamemnon wants to take her as a slave with him. Achilles beats him down (finally!) and kisses Briseis when Paris shows up. Since Paris was Legolas in his other life, the first arrow he shoots goes right through Achilles' Achilles tendon. Briseis is obviously unhappy with that, but Paris doesn't get it and shoots Achilles some more. Then he grabs Briseis and runs off.
Achilles dies, surrounded by fire and soldiers.
When The Dark Night Seems Endless, Please Remember Me
In the ruins of Troy, we see Achilles' pyre being lit by Odysseus, who says something about "If ever anyone might tell this tale, and remember me, I'll be proud that they can say that I lived in the age of Achilles, and of Hector." You want to pat him on the back and tell him that he'll get a bigger part in what is yet to come.
Fade out, end credits.
Goodness. "Short summary", I don't think so.
= = =
Keine Zeit mehr zum Übersetzen - schaut euch den Film doch einfach selbst an, wenn euch diese "kurze" Zusammenfassung zu lang ist. ;)
Fuck you. I'm a woman, I like big battle scenes and some (some!) pathos, I like oldfashioned clothing and armor and legends come to life. I'm not alone, and I'm tired of hearing that sort of stuff. Gah.
And our newspaper, bitching about how Wolfgang Petersen gave up so many chances for great political statements. Probably it's just me, but I actually don't see much reason to stuff big political statements into the adaptation of a thousands-year old legend, other than what is already there in the line of political statement (and make no mistake, there is).
Hm. The trailer for The Day after Tomorrow makes me want to write some sort of Akallabêth/ Day after Tomorrow crossover fic. If I had the time.
That said, I saw the movie in question yesternight. Altogether, I liked it, although my short summary below probably will sound like I didn't. But it was okay, really. Not exactly like the book, but after all, it only says "Inspired by Homer's Iliad" in the end credits. No, I did like it.
Cut for length, potential spoilers and those who don't care.
Intro
First, we see a map, drawn by hand, to show Greece and Troy. Lettered in English, but oh well. Of course, anyone who wouldn't find Old Europe on a map doesn't have much use for this map anyway, but now we have a rough overview.
Old kings yaddayadda want peace by simply uniting all kingdoms under themselves yaddayadda.
Agamemnon vs Thessaly
We see two armies marching towards each other. When they come to a halt, their respective kings start discussing. They're indeed old men, and they decide that they just have their respective best warriors fight each other, and the outcome of that duel will decide the outcome of the war. King of Thessaly calls for Boagrius, a big, scarred WWF outcast with muscles for a brain. Agamemnon calls for Achilles, who doesn't show up. A hastily sent messenger boy (someone in the audience named him Frodo) finds Achilles "recovering" from a night ill-spent with two beautiful women. First naked Brad Pitt scene. After some bitching, Achilles goes to the battle, not without letting everyone know he's doing this so his name won't be forgotten.
Agamemnon is slightly pissed and suggests he'll have Achilles whipped for his insolence. Achilles is slightly pissed and suggests Agamemnon can fight for himself. For lack of motivation, he just stabs Boagrius in the shoulder, which decides the battle in favor of Agamemnon, who is not Achilles' king, as is pointed out to ex-king of Thessaly.
A Party in Sparta
Eric Bana looks good as Hector. Very noble, intelligent, kind and slightly angsty.
Orlando Bloom looks like Legolas with black curls. He's exchanging glances with Helen, who looks less like a Greek than like a German ex-model (oh, wait, she is). She's pretty enough, though. While he husband, Menelaus, talks about how he's ensured peace between Sparta and Troy and so on, he leaves, soon followed by
The Hitch-hiker's Guide to Troy
Hector and
Dude, Where's My Wife?
Menelaus discovers that Helen is gone and is rather annoyed. He asks Agamemnon for support. Agamemnon agrees because he'll win Troy and then he'll be the evil overlord of everything. Menelaus is not quite happy because he wants to kill his ex-wife but doesn't want to have Agamemnon getting all the reknown.
Some councillor suggests that Troy might be something of a challenge and they might need Achilles. But Achilles doesn't fight for free and doesn't like Agamemnon, as we learned in the beginning. However, he will listen to one man...
Slash Is In The Air
Achilles and Patroclos
A Wedding and An Act of War
We see the happy party-people of Troy celebrating Paris' wedding. Hector looks slightly less happy. Priam (my goodness, Peter O'Toole has grown old, but he still looks good) isn't exactly happy either, though he pretends to be, hugging and kissing everyone and flattering Helen exceedingly. [By the way, I like it that they show that back in the day men would hug and kiss each other. Then again, with all those sexy men running around half-naked or clad in metal or leather, you probably can't help doing that anyway.] We learn that Briseis has become a priestess which has made all young men of Troy very sad. Hector is reunited with his beautiful wife and not so beautiful baby son.
Later on, Priam and Hector have a bit of a talk and he asks whether all Troy is to burn for this woman. Heavy Foreshadowing Music.
Helen and Paris are talking too. Helen says they're coming for her. Paris suggests they could run away, he could still make sure they'll survive. Helen says they'll burn down Troy anyway. Paris looks angsty.
The Achilles Complex
Achilles meets his mom, who is searching for shells because her son loves necklaces (whee!) and says that when he'll not go to Troy, he'll grow old and have many many children who'll have many many children, and when his children and his children's children and their children and so on are dead, his name will be forgotten. If he'll go to Troy, he won't come back, but his name will be remembered forever. That settles it.
Yo Ho, Yo Ho, An Immortal Name For Me
We know this from the trailer: One Ship. Three Ships. Six Ships. Ten Ships. Lots Of Ships.
The Trojans have just finished making ramparts when the bell is rung to announce the arrival of the Greek fleet. One ship is slightly ahead. That's Achilles who can't wait to make his name remembered forever. His blue-eyed faithful servant-sidekick asks whether he doesn't want to wait for Agamemnon. He doesn't, because, after all, it's not Agamemnon's name he wants to make remembered forever. Androgynous Patroclos wants to fight but Achilles won't let them. He just tells his warriors that on this shore, immortality awaits them. [I think Brad Pitt will have to play Ar-Pharazon at some point.]
Having arrived on the Trojan shore (almost knocking over a camera in the process of landing), Achilles and his cool warriors start beating up Trojans. Achilles annoys Apollon by beheading a golden statue of said god. Whoever said the gods weren't mentioned in this film? They are. All the time.
Good Thing There's Parking Space For A 1000 Ships Here
Achilles & Co have already killed a bunch of priests and hastily-called Trojan warriors when Hector arrives at the temple. Hector is disgusted by the blasphemy and challenges Achilles all on his own. Achilles doesn't want to kill him here where no one sees it and sends him back home. Agamemnon and his army of 50,000 warriors have finally arrived. After some beating each other up, they make an encampment.
Achilles' blue-eyed faithful sidekick shows him that they've captured Briseis for his amusement. Achilles tries to wash himself, which doesn't quite work out, but at least it gives us a chance to look at his muscles. Talking to Briseis, he turns human and says that unlike every other Trojan, she doesn't have anything to fear from him. Then he's called to Agamemnon, who still hasn't turned human but insults him. Suddenly, Briseis turns up in his tent. Achilles wants to blackmail Agamemnon into giving her back, but Briseis is too proud for that sort of thing. Achilles goes back to his tent to sulk and says he won't fight until Agamemnon comes to beg.
The Council of
Inside some Trojan temple. The generals say that they'll beat the Greek up. Hector says they won't. The priests say the omens are auspicious and let's beat the Greek up. Paris says he'll go and challenge Menelaus to bring an end to this war. Priam isn't happy, but willing to sacrifice his younger son to prevent all his people from dying. At least he gives
You're cheating.
So, in the next morning, Hector and Paris ride out to meet Agamemnon and Menelaus. Menelaus is willing to accept Paris' challenge, but Agamemnon isn't there for Menelaus' wife but for his own imperialistic crusade. Menelaus suggests that once he has won, Agamemnon can still attack Troy. Agamemnon is d'accord.
Hector gives Paris some advice which doesn't help much. Paris and
Good Omens
When Menelaus gets too annoying, Hector kills him. The Greek attack, and Paris and Hector have to run for their lives. Nonetheless, Paris almost ruins it all because he has to run back for The Sword Of Troy. Now they're all fighting and beating each other up. It seems as though the priests were right about the auspicious omens, because eventually the Greek are forced to retreat, followed by the Trojan hordes. Hector is smart enough to stop them before they come in reach of the Greek archers. He permits everyone to look after their dead, so we get to see some Greek funeral rites with big pyres. Probably they had to end the war because they couldn't afford all those gold coins after a while.
Yet Another Love Story
Agamemnon wants Achilles to fight again, but he doesn't beg. Odysseus is sent to convince Achilles, but he can't, because apparently, an unforgotten Sulking Hero Achilles is just as well as any other unforgotten Achilles. Sulking Hero Achilles gives orders to pack up and go home. Patroclos is disappointed.
Agamemnon thinks he's a smart man because he hasn't done anything to Briseis as of yet, except that he's given her over to his men who are just trying to do something to her when Achilles beats them up and frees her. He wants to clean her up, which she can do herself, thank you very much. They have some deep philosophical discussions. Briseis says that if Achilles were only a brute, she might forgive him, but since he's intelligent also, she must despise him. At night, she wants to kill him as he lays all naked on his furs. Instead, they end up having sex.
Good Omens II
The priests are proud because they read the omens correctly for once. Since the morale of the Greek is obviously at a low point, they suggest they should attack them now. Hector points out that if the Greek are attacked directly, that would unite them whereas they're now in discord. He also noticed Achilles didn't fight, but is afraid he would when attacked directly. The priests, however, don't want to wait behind the strong and invincible walls of Troy. Priam asked whether they're sure about the omens, which, of course, they say they are.
Fireball
So, at night, the Trojans walk up to the Greek encampment and shoot burning arrows into the sand. The point of that action becomes clear when they start rolling big balls made of straw and wood down the hill, which catch fire and smash the ramparts, some ships and many Greek soldiers. They try to defend themselves when suddenly Achilles comes running up. Hector is dismayed and goes to fight him. He manages to kill Achilles quickly, which makes him wonder. When he removes Achilles' helmet, he sees Patroclos and is even more dismayed because he knows that Achilles will sure fight now. Hector and Odysseus agree that this was enough for one night
My Name is Achilles. You killed My Cousin. Prepare To Die.
Achilles wakes up feeling very good. Coming out of the tent, he's sort of confused because his men have fought without him. Blue-eyes Faithful Sidekick explains how they thought Patroclos was him, and how Patroclos is sort of dead. Achilles beats up Faithful Sidekick and dons armor.
Hector does likewise, after he has shown his wife a secret tunnel out of the city. Then we see the whole Trojan royal family in their front seats watch as Achilles comes up to challenge Hector. Jumping out of his chariot, Achilles walks to the gates of Troy and calls for Hector, once, twice, three times, four times. [Actually, Brad Pitt might want to play Fingolfin at some point, too.] The archers want to shoot him, but Hector says no. He bids his farewells to everyone and then goes to meet his fate. He wants to make a contract with Achilles, guaranteeing the proper funeral rites to whoever won't survive this duel, but Achilles doesn't want to. Their beating each other up is impressively choreographed. As we all know, dear, noble, kind, intelligent Hector is killed and dragged behind Achilles' chariot. Cut to the dead one's weeping family; Helen looks just a bit to excited and enchanted
A Decent Murderer
When Achilles returns to Briseis, she starts crying because that means Hector is dead. Strangely, Achilles doesn't take offense at her obviously preferring him dead. But she spends the night elsewhere, which she must, because Achilles is alone when Priam comes crawling in to beg for Hector's dead body. After some discussion, Achilles wraps Hector's remains up and returns them to Priam. Just then, Briseis enters the scene again. Priam is surprised that she's alive. Achilles says she's free, and if he ever hurt her, he's sorry. He also grants Priam a truce of 12 days for the funeral, and acknowledges that Priam is a much better king than Agamemnon.
[And I'm still crying for Hector. Dammit.]
Inspiration Is Found In Strange Places
The latter isn't happy to hear about the truce, because, after all, when everyone's busy burning Hector, that's a good time to attack. Achilles says they'll never take the wall either way and goes off to apologize to Faithful Sidekick for beating him up. Faithful Sidekick says Achilles may beat him up any time he likes to, and it was an honour to serve him. Achilles nods and disappears in darkness.
Odysseus, meanwhile, is sitting with the soldiers around the campfire. His neighbour is making a toy horse for his son at home and asks Odysseus whether it's good. Odysseus says that a horse is a very good idea indeed. The Greek start collecting wood, which must be difficult because they already burned up so much for the funerals.
He Should Have Listened To His Son
After the twelve days of Hectors funeral, the Trojans are surprised because everyone's gone. They find some Greek corpses that look as though they had died of the plague, which the accept as an explanation for the sudden disappearance of their enemies. They also find a big wooden horse. The priests say it's a sacrifice to Poseidon because the Greek want to return home safely, so let's take it to our temple of Poseidon. Paris says he has a bad feeling about this and it's ugly and let's just burn it. The priests say it's a sacrifice to the gods and you can't burn it. As always, they get their way, and we see happy dancing Trojans while the horse is dragged into the city. Some mounted Trojan messenger sees the hidden Greek fleet but is shot down.
Weak Spots
When it's dark and all the Trojans are drunk, Odysseus, Achilles and the others leave the horse, kill the guards and open the gates. The Greek army comes running into the city and finally does what they've come here for, pillage, plunder, rifle, loot, drink up, me hearties, yo ho, and burn up the city.
While they're at it, Andromache tries to find everyone to leave through the secret tunnel. Paris won't come along in spite of Helen's pleas, because Briseis is missing once again. He hands over The Sword Of Troy to cute young Aeneas, keeping only his bow and arrows, and runs off in search of Briseis, who is also being searched by Achilles.
The latter finds her just as Agamemnon wants to take her as a slave with him. Achilles beats him down (finally!) and kisses Briseis when Paris shows up. Since Paris was Legolas in his other life, the first arrow he shoots goes right through Achilles' Achilles tendon. Briseis is obviously unhappy with that, but Paris doesn't get it and shoots Achilles some more. Then he grabs Briseis and runs off.
Achilles dies, surrounded by fire and soldiers.
When The Dark Night Seems Endless, Please Remember Me
In the ruins of Troy, we see Achilles' pyre being lit by Odysseus, who says something about "If ever anyone might tell this tale, and remember me, I'll be proud that they can say that I lived in the age of Achilles, and of Hector." You want to pat him on the back and tell him that he'll get a bigger part in what is yet to come.
Fade out, end credits.
Goodness. "Short summary", I don't think so.
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Keine Zeit mehr zum Übersetzen - schaut euch den Film doch einfach selbst an, wenn euch diese "kurze" Zusammenfassung zu lang ist. ;)
