A Distraction!
Nov. 3rd, 2004 04:20 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
olorielBecause if I don't laugh, I'm going to cry.
As promised, whatever I can remember from the funny quotes of Ring*Con 2004 (and there were many) along with the few photos I've already managed to snatch. In no particular order, and maybe not funny for anyone who wasn't present in this particular 'non-ordinary reality' (a term from the Neo-shamanism seminar which I hate because of its political correctness and like or its amusement value), so feel free to ignore.
Craig's and Mark's word-for-word story, Frodo's Quest for the Reibekuchen, as far as I still get it scratched together (italics are by Mark, bolds are by Craig):
Waking up one beautiful morning, Frodo thought he felt like going for a long walk. Leaping out of Sam --long pause; reproachful look-- 's house, he went on his way when he noticed that he was completely naked --another reproachful look. Fortunately he found a black latex thong which he put on. Following the long road he came to a dark land: MORRRRRDORRRR! Suddenly he smelt the wonderful smell of fresh Reibekuchen! He followed the smell when he discovered a group of Orcs who were cooking Reibekuchen. Afraid he hid in the shadows. Suddenly Frodo heard a voice behind him: "My precioussss!" The Orcs heard it too and came out of their holes. Frodo tried to escape, but they caught him by his latex thong. "Oh no", he thought, "I am lost!" Then the thong tore apart and the Orcs were catapulted back into their hole.
Or something like it, anyway.
A happy Orc family.
Q: The Rohirrim have all those beautiful songs in the books, why don't they sing in the movies?
Bernard Hill: We couldn't have them sing in battle, that would be like something out of a Monty Python movie...
Paul Norell (when asked something about his make-up as the King of the Dead): That's no make-up, that's what I look like on Monday mornings!
During a panel, this image was shown on the background screen. Craig Parker: I can explain this! ...they're physiotherapists!
Q:: What scenes were the most challenging to shoot?
Bernard Hill: Any scene with Viggo was a pain to do.
Q: Why?
Bernard Hill: Because Viggo is a pain to work with. He has an opinion about everything. He never shuts up, and as far as I know, no one has ever convinced him that he’s wrong.
Mark Ferguson (hugging Craig): I might begin to write slash myself.
Q:: What scenes were the most challenging to shoot?
Bernard Hill: Any scene with Viggo was a pain to do.
Q: Why?
Bernard Hill: Because Viggo is a pain to work with. He has an opinion about everything. He never shuts up, and as far as I know, no one has ever convinced him that he’s wrong.
Smea played around with the restaurant sign.
Lawrence Makoare: Witchking? Which king? Actually, there are a lot of kings. Smo-king... and thin-king... and there's a lot more kings, but I can't tell you because you're a kid.
Billy Boyd: So if I come back tomorrow wearing the same clothes, that's because my bag still didn't arrived. I'll be wearing the same underwear, too. And if I'm wearing a dress, that's because I fancy it.
Jarl Benzon: If they make a movie out of the hobbit, I'll audition for Thranduil. Not because I like the character, but because I'd be Legolas dad and then I'd go and spank him.
Orcs at the Costume Contest.
Green Orc (=Aditu=![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
tzaaihta): ... back when I was working in MIC.
Orc 2: MIC?
Green Orc: Mordor Immigration Control.
[...]
Green Orc: You do not simply walk into Mordor. You need a passport!
Mark Ferguson: Oh no! No more 'passport'! PLEASE!
Billy Boyd: You know Elijah? He has these gorgeous blue eyes. Not good when I'm drunk.
(The stage was decorated Rohan style, and Craig was obsessed with the pony fur lying in the middle.)
Mark Ferguson: Do you know where you just stroked that horse? That means you have to marry it!
Back when Sauron was small and cuddly...
Billy Boyd: Few people know that one of the weapons Bernard Hill got was a whip, and he was practicing with it in every free minute. So we were shooting in Meduseld, and we had a break, and it was hot so Orlando bloom had taken off his costume because it was really warm inside the leather tunic, so he was standing there practically naked, and Bernard accidentally hit him on his bum and he got that really ugly scar. I've got a photo of it. *pause* I won't show it to you though.
Lawrence Makoare: "Lurtz dies in the movie, the Witch-King dies, and - guess what? Gothmog dies! And guess who kills him? Aragorn! I won't tell you exactly how he dies because you haven't seen the special edition yet, but Viggo came up and said *imitates Viggo Mortensen's voice*, "You know, I could cut off his arm... and then his head..." *back to normal voice* NO!! NOT THAT AGAIN!!"
Katha, me, Ribitt, Orkjäger and Sören on day one
Paul Norell: ... so we figured out that the only way to get the angle right was for me to really dive directly at the camera, beyond the point of no return. And if they didn't pull the ropes at exactly the right moment, I would destroye, what, 100.000 dollars worth of equipment, and, though less importantly, I'd really hurt myself!
Mark Ferguson (lying at Craig's feet after their re-enactment of how Sauron kills Gil-galad): I take it back Craig, from down here, you're not small at all!
Q: Which role did you like best?
Lawrence Makoare: Bill the Pony.
Q: No, I mean of your roles!
Lawrence Makoare: *shaking his ponytail* Bill the Pony!
Visitors from Far Far Away (rahja, Bilbo and Frodo)
Q: What was the hair on the hobbit feet?
Billy Boyd: I have no idea. Horses' pubic hair?
Bernard Hill is secretly a Hobbit.
Q: Do actors ever lie to their fans?
Thomas Robbins: NEVER! Wait, I think that was a lie.
Odd man out.
And there was that really amusing part where Billy Boyd was answering a question by Olwe and explaining all sorts of background stuff to Olwe - who happens to be the chairman of the German Tolkien society. But he managed to smile and nod as though he were hearing about the Tooks inventing golf and all that for the first time.
(During the autograph session)
Michi: I really don't have enough hands.
Me (as Maedhros) Tell me about it.
Bernard Hill: Hobbits are actually a nasty sort of midget.
Mini-Sauron to Big Sauron: Daddy, supper's ready!
The beautiful thing about the fan-organized activities is that everyone takes part spontaneously. (And no, the guy on the bier is not Bernard Hill. Nor has he had a stroke or actually died.)
I'll leave it at that.
And for those who don't want to think about anything but politics and still want to have a tiny little laugh:
(right click, "Save as".)
Right. Sorry. Not funny.
To the Americans among you: I feel your pain.
As promised, whatever I can remember from the funny quotes of Ring*Con 2004 (and there were many) along with the few photos I've already managed to snatch. In no particular order, and maybe not funny for anyone who wasn't present in this particular 'non-ordinary reality' (a term from the Neo-shamanism seminar which I hate because of its political correctness and like or its amusement value), so feel free to ignore.
Craig's and Mark's word-for-word story, Frodo's Quest for the Reibekuchen, as far as I still get it scratched together (italics are by Mark, bolds are by Craig):
Waking up one beautiful morning, Frodo thought he felt like going for a long walk. Leaping out of Sam --long pause; reproachful look-- 's house, he went on his way when he noticed that he was completely naked --another reproachful look. Fortunately he found a black latex thong which he put on. Following the long road he came to a dark land: MORRRRRDORRRR! Suddenly he smelt the wonderful smell of fresh Reibekuchen! He followed the smell when he discovered a group of Orcs who were cooking Reibekuchen. Afraid he hid in the shadows. Suddenly Frodo heard a voice behind him: "My precioussss!" The Orcs heard it too and came out of their holes. Frodo tried to escape, but they caught him by his latex thong. "Oh no", he thought, "I am lost!" Then the thong tore apart and the Orcs were catapulted back into their hole.
Or something like it, anyway.
A happy Orc family.
Q: The Rohirrim have all those beautiful songs in the books, why don't they sing in the movies?
Bernard Hill: We couldn't have them sing in battle, that would be like something out of a Monty Python movie...
Paul Norell (when asked something about his make-up as the King of the Dead): That's no make-up, that's what I look like on Monday mornings!
During a panel, this image was shown on the background screen. Craig Parker: I can explain this! ...they're physiotherapists!
Q:: What scenes were the most challenging to shoot?
Bernard Hill: Any scene with Viggo was a pain to do.
Q: Why?
Bernard Hill: Because Viggo is a pain to work with. He has an opinion about everything. He never shuts up, and as far as I know, no one has ever convinced him that he’s wrong.
Mark Ferguson (hugging Craig): I might begin to write slash myself.
Q:: What scenes were the most challenging to shoot?
Bernard Hill: Any scene with Viggo was a pain to do.
Q: Why?
Bernard Hill: Because Viggo is a pain to work with. He has an opinion about everything. He never shuts up, and as far as I know, no one has ever convinced him that he’s wrong.
Smea played around with the restaurant sign.
Lawrence Makoare: Witchking? Which king? Actually, there are a lot of kings. Smo-king... and thin-king... and there's a lot more kings, but I can't tell you because you're a kid.
Billy Boyd: So if I come back tomorrow wearing the same clothes, that's because my bag still didn't arrived. I'll be wearing the same underwear, too. And if I'm wearing a dress, that's because I fancy it.
Jarl Benzon: If they make a movie out of the hobbit, I'll audition for Thranduil. Not because I like the character, but because I'd be Legolas dad and then I'd go and spank him.
Orcs at the Costume Contest.
Green Orc (=Aditu=
tzaaihta): ... back when I was working in MIC.Orc 2: MIC?
Green Orc: Mordor Immigration Control.
[...]
Green Orc: You do not simply walk into Mordor. You need a passport!
Mark Ferguson: Oh no! No more 'passport'! PLEASE!
Billy Boyd: You know Elijah? He has these gorgeous blue eyes. Not good when I'm drunk.
(The stage was decorated Rohan style, and Craig was obsessed with the pony fur lying in the middle.)
Mark Ferguson: Do you know where you just stroked that horse? That means you have to marry it!
Back when Sauron was small and cuddly...
Billy Boyd: Few people know that one of the weapons Bernard Hill got was a whip, and he was practicing with it in every free minute. So we were shooting in Meduseld, and we had a break, and it was hot so Orlando bloom had taken off his costume because it was really warm inside the leather tunic, so he was standing there practically naked, and Bernard accidentally hit him on his bum and he got that really ugly scar. I've got a photo of it. *pause* I won't show it to you though.
Lawrence Makoare: "Lurtz dies in the movie, the Witch-King dies, and - guess what? Gothmog dies! And guess who kills him? Aragorn! I won't tell you exactly how he dies because you haven't seen the special edition yet, but Viggo came up and said *imitates Viggo Mortensen's voice*, "You know, I could cut off his arm... and then his head..." *back to normal voice* NO!! NOT THAT AGAIN!!"
Katha, me, Ribitt, Orkjäger and Sören on day one
Paul Norell: ... so we figured out that the only way to get the angle right was for me to really dive directly at the camera, beyond the point of no return. And if they didn't pull the ropes at exactly the right moment, I would destroye, what, 100.000 dollars worth of equipment, and, though less importantly, I'd really hurt myself!
Mark Ferguson (lying at Craig's feet after their re-enactment of how Sauron kills Gil-galad): I take it back Craig, from down here, you're not small at all!
Q: Which role did you like best?
Lawrence Makoare: Bill the Pony.
Q: No, I mean of your roles!
Lawrence Makoare: *shaking his ponytail* Bill the Pony!
Visitors from Far Far Away (
rahja, Bilbo and Frodo)Q: What was the hair on the hobbit feet?
Billy Boyd: I have no idea. Horses' pubic hair?
Bernard Hill is secretly a Hobbit.
Q: Do actors ever lie to their fans?
Thomas Robbins: NEVER! Wait, I think that was a lie.
Odd man out.
And there was that really amusing part where Billy Boyd was answering a question by Olwe and explaining all sorts of background stuff to Olwe - who happens to be the chairman of the German Tolkien society. But he managed to smile and nod as though he were hearing about the Tooks inventing golf and all that for the first time.
(During the autograph session)
Michi: I really don't have enough hands.
Me (as Maedhros) Tell me about it.
Bernard Hill: Hobbits are actually a nasty sort of midget.
Mini-Sauron to Big Sauron: Daddy, supper's ready!
The beautiful thing about the fan-organized activities is that everyone takes part spontaneously. (And no, the guy on the bier is not Bernard Hill. Nor has he had a stroke or actually died.)
I'll leave it at that.
And for those who don't want to think about anything but politics and still want to have a tiny little laugh:
(right click, "Save as".)
Right. Sorry. Not funny.
To the Americans among you: I feel your pain.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2004-11-03 10:09 am (UTC)Thank you for the photos and anecdotes, but you really should fix the link to the Maedhros picture.
no subject
Date: 2004-11-03 10:26 am (UTC)Fixed the link, though.
no subject
Date: 2004-11-04 07:06 am (UTC)Lovely Maedhros costume. :) Unfortunately I still have problems with my digital camera software, so I still can't upload the photos :(
no subject
Date: 2004-11-04 10:02 am (UTC)Thank you! The tunic isn't the one I actually wanted to wear, though, because I didn't get that finished in time. And my hair is now, half a week later, a real copper red, whereas it was rather too dark on the weekend... oh well.
no subject
Date: 2004-11-03 11:30 am (UTC)