...
I begin to think it is better if I am unprepared. If I have time to think about what I am going to do, I do think to much, which results in nervosity, panic, pangs of conscience, self-reproaches, etc. Not necessarily on the same thing.
And if I'm nervous, or panicking, or whatever, I'm too cramped and not relaxed and whatever. And then I want to do well and always have the feeling I screwed up.
And I know it's my own fault because I couldn't keep my meandering thoughts off whatever it is that I'm about to do. I just should relax and wait and see. Nothing's depending on anything, this time. If things don't work out the way I'd like them to, oh well. For the one problem, it wouldn't matter at all, except to myself and my pride, and maybe it serves me right if I'm humbled a bit. Gnah. For the other problem, I really should be used to that by now, and so should he.
At least it's not so hot anymore. At least I can focus a bit better. Though I probably shouldn't. I do have to let go, but I'm - just - fricking - not - able - to.
Don't worry if you don't understand that cryptic stuff. I hardly understand it myself.
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( Locker lassen, Teil 2 )
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I begin to think it is better if I am unprepared. If I have time to think about what I am going to do, I do think to much, which results in nervosity, panic, pangs of conscience, self-reproaches, etc. Not necessarily on the same thing.
And if I'm nervous, or panicking, or whatever, I'm too cramped and not relaxed and whatever. And then I want to do well and always have the feeling I screwed up.
And I know it's my own fault because I couldn't keep my meandering thoughts off whatever it is that I'm about to do. I just should relax and wait and see. Nothing's depending on anything, this time. If things don't work out the way I'd like them to, oh well. For the one problem, it wouldn't matter at all, except to myself and my pride, and maybe it serves me right if I'm humbled a bit. Gnah. For the other problem, I really should be used to that by now, and so should he.
At least it's not so hot anymore. At least I can focus a bit better. Though I probably shouldn't. I do have to let go, but I'm - just - fricking - not - able - to.
Don't worry if you don't understand that cryptic stuff. I hardly understand it myself.
- - -
( Locker lassen, Teil 2 )
- - -