oloriel | Keeping things secret...

... can be so damn hard.

When I didn't have my period in November, I was at first fairly certain that it was a symptom of exam stress. First, the same phenomenon occured during my Abitur exams and my first (and worst) intermediate exam; second, I didn't want to get excited over something that would in the end turn out to be nothing anyway...

Except there were other symptoms that again might be a result of stress, but might also be indicators of pregnancy, and they were new.
For instance, I developed spontaneous aversions to foods I've been loving these past years (like feta cheese, or black tea) and had cravings for other foods I don't usually care for overmuch (like cauliflower, or spinach). Or I was lusting for particular foods (OMG PIZZA) more than usual, as in, "if I don't get it now I'm going to run berserk".
For instance, I felt unreasonably tired even after sleeping 9 or 10 hours a night.
For instance, I wasn't quite certain whether I was hungry or about to be sick half the time.

Oh, and my breasts started to hurt early in November, as if they had suddenly decided to outgrow themselves. (By now, they have grown. I've always - well, for the past ten years - had fairly big boobs, but now they're absurd.)

So it wasn't easy to keep on going "Eh, it's just stress, it'll come to nothing".
And after the last exam, I went and got myself one of those pregnancy test kits, which I used the next morning. Test kit said that result would be visible after three minutes at the latest, though in case of particularly high hCG concentration it might just take a minute or even less. In this case, the test thingy took about thirty seconds to declare that I? Totally pregnant.

Insert wild squeeing and flailing here. ^^ (We've sort of been trying since August, though I think neither of us expected it to work out quite so quickly!)

As I haven't yet seen my gyn about it yet, I am still trying not to get overexcited in case it's not true after all (although these tests are "over 99% reliable", in the end they only measure whether there are significant hCG levels, which may be caused by pregnancy but may also be caused by cysts or uterine cancer). Of course, I am failing. It's kinda hard not to get excited.

It's also hard not to squeal about it on LJ! However, we've decided not to tell our families until Christmas. Most people wait until the 12th or so week, but in our case it'll be the tenth just because it's Christmas.
It's hard to figure out how the family's going to react. Mother-in-law is going to be thrilled because she's been hoping for grandchildren for ages. Brother is going to be thrilled. Grandfather is going to be thrilled.
As for the rest... I have no idea. My parents will probably not be too surprised. My grandmother, though, might be upset because I don't have job security yet and it'll naturally be harder to get into a "secure" job with a small child. (Though with my wonky degree, it'd take at least half a decade to get into a "secure" job anyway, and I didn't want to wait so long!)

But, anyway. As we haven't told the family yet, it'd be kind of odd to talk about it here. Not that it's likely that any of you will accidentally blab to my parents (or talk to them at all...), but still it feels unfair. Besides, there's a reason you don't generally tell people before the 12th week. *wibblewibble*

So I typed this all up, and put it on "private", and turn it "public" after Christmas. Woo hoo!

*insert further squeeing*