Cloudy, with a chance of Eagles

[oloriel]

Right.
Due to LJ being under attack once more (yawn), I missed my annual Happy New Year post.
So,
have a very happy, healthy, creative and delightful new year
belatedly.

I also missed the Professor's birthday toast. Now my fan card really will be revoked for good*.

Oh wait, I missed the birthday toast because I was at the Cinemaxx, FINALLY WATCHING THE HOBBIT. Maybe I may keep my fan card after all?

So. My cinematic experience, the first since Pirates of the Caribbean 4: On Stranger Tides. What have I become.

On the technical side, I'm afraid this was a disappointment. The Cinemaxx advertises that you get to see The Hobbit with state-of-the-art technology, but obviously that only goes for the 3D HFR theatres. We went for good old 2D, which was grainy, blurry, disconcerting and, often, nausea-inducing. (Ironically, we'd decided for 2D because we were afraid that the 3D would be, as it so often is, blurry and nauseating...)
Of course, that's not the film's fault.

Further impressions will go under the spoiler cut, just in case.


On the whole, I found the pacing of this film terribly awkward. It was a mixed bag, really, made up of lots of theoretically brilliant puzzle pieces, but it felt as though they had been put together by someone who wasn't entirely sure where they were going. This did make the movie long-winded in some scenes, and I say that as a fan; I can understand why less passionate cinema-goers felt bored on occasion. The Erebor scene could've used some trimming, even though I loved the glimpse into the past of the Dwarven kingdom, and the stone giants and White Council made even me look at my watch.

That said, the puzzle pieces themselves really were brilliant (aside from the stone giants and the White Council). So much love and attention went into the design and cinematography, and it really shows! I loved the shout-outs to the past and future, which is no surprise. New Zealand is still stunningly beautiful, which is no surprise either.

Some random thoughts that went through my head during the film:

- Thranduil's facial expressions really made me roll my eyes. A lot. Also, as they've now established that Thorin has a personal reason to dislike Elves and the Sindar in particular, I'm pretty certain they won't do the Doriath flashback I was hoping for.

- Unexpected Party: PERFECT.

- They managed to incorporate a couple of songs without making it Disney-ish! I'm impressed.

- I really appreciate that they managed to give each Dwarf his own personality. I mean, it's still not like I could immediately say which Dwarf is called what or anything, but they managed to turn that heterogeneous, generic Dwarven mass that was in my head into 13 distinguishable individuals, which must have been no small feat.

- Yay, Sting without the blade inscription! See, the blade inscription was something that really bothered me in the LotR movie trilogy, because as a reader of The Hobbit I knew that Sting didn't come to Bilbo bearing that name, but that Bilbo himself chose that, so the runes on the blade saying "Yo, I'm Sting" [paraphrased] were just stupid. In this one? THERE IS NO BLADE INSCRIPTION, JUST THE WAVE DESIGN IT WILL LATER FOLLOW. So Bilbo added that later! Now it makes sense and that makes me happy!

- Radagast was less jarring than I'd expected from what I'd read and seen in the Art & Design book. Still more discworldly than I'd have imagined him, but not as disturbing as I'd feared.

- CALACIRYA SHOUTOUT! No, seriously, that was a perfect allusion in all but name.

- The Elvish (but also the Orcish) felt sort of awkward and pastede-on-yey. Not sure whether they pronounce it so awkwardly in the original, or whether they made the German voice actors repeat them and they botched it, but NO REAL PERSON ENUNCIATES LIKE THAT.

- White Council: Nobody actually takes Saruman seriously, do they? Also, how on earth is Galadriel doing that thing with her gowns, I'm not sure whether I find it beautiful or stupid.

- Some of the Rivendell design felt really over the top, and not in a good way. The houses were nice, but that "solar" (lunar?) where Elrond discovered the moon runes? That was way beyond ridiculous.

- I really watched out for the reported Fëanorian stars around Elrond's council "chamber", but I'm afraid they're rather ambiguous - they don't actually have that clearly distinctive shape. Might be any eight-pointed star, really. Oh well. I WANT TO BELIEVE.

- Dwarves saying things like "Good Heavens" or "Oh God". Um... not quite? "Sebastian" the Hedgehog. Um... no? The Trolls having names like "Bert" or "Bill" I personally already find jarring, but Tolkien at least chose Saxon-ish names for them. But Sebastian is Greek. Or Latin based on a Greek/Near Eastern place name. If you have no idea what you're doing, don't do it.

- Also, Radagast is not "an Istari". Unless Saruman means to imply that Radagast is multiple people (at least three)? Look, I see how Quenya and its tons of cases can be confusing, but the difference between singular and plural is actually pretty straightforward.

- In Goblin Town (at the latest), I wish Gandalf had said something like "DO I HAVE TO SAVE YOU ALL THE TIME? CAN YOU GUYS NOT, LIKE, STAY SAVED FOR A MOMENT?!" Seriously, it was Gandalf to the Rescue! all the time! Until it was Eagles to the Rescue, of course. It seems I'm not alone.

- Goblin Town was so absurdly over the top that I actually found it fun.

- Riddles in the Dark was perfect.

- The Aquilae Ex Machina amused me way too much. It really is like I said in that one shoddy comic back in the day, the Eagles are totally the "Sea Turtles!" joke of the Tolkienverse.²

- Some of the Big Moral Moments were laid on a bit too thickly, I think. That said, Thorin's manly hug for Bilbo was still kind of awww!-inducing.

- LOL, a production manager who worked on this film is called Arwen Munro. I bet her parents are really thrilled now. XD

There was more, but it has now slipped my mind. So I'll leave it at that, and possibly add more later.



On the whole, I liked it all right. But I do have a slight headache from the bad quality of the theatre, which is annoying. In the olden days (TM), we used to say that this or that was a film you just had to see in cinema. These days? If it didn't take so bloody long, I'd indefinitely prefer a BluRay on our home TV set.

- - -
*I actually have one, in that I have a membership card of the German Tolkien Society. They don't easily revoke that one, though, as long as you pay your membership fees and don't criminally misbehave.

²The text, in case anyone really wants to know, goes: Panel 1: Fingolfin: "But... how..." - Fingon: "Eagle." - Panel 2: Beorn: "And why did the Orcs not get you?" - Gandalf: "Eagles, my friend." - Panel 3: Elrond: "How did you escape?" - Gandalf: "Eagle." - Panel 4: Elanor: "But why did you not fall off the Eagles' backs?" - Sam: "Because we roped ourselves to them. ... with Hobbit hair OFF OUR FEET."
If you don't get the joke, you should watch Pirates of the Caribbean some time.

Comments

[shadowbrides.livejournal.com]

On the whole, I found the pacing of this film terribly awkward.


Oh, this so much. Though in my case it was more about the melodramatic/overdone heroic aspects. I liked the Dwarves despite lack of beards but wished fervently they didn't try to make Thorin this Aragorn like personality and winced a lot at scenes like Bilbo's sudden heroic orc attack (and sudden ability to wield a sword and kill something much larger and more aggressive than himself!). See my post from a few days ago. Although I'm afraid it involves lots of caps lock.

And Discworldy! That is a good word for Radagast. Thing is, I despised him when I just came back from the movie but when I consider the movie character without trying to pretend he is an actual Tolkien Istari he could possibly be kind of fun. Possibly. I'm such a grump, I know.

[oloriel.livejournal.com]

Bilbo's sudden "Swordsmanship +5", yeah! They were all the worse because they actually often did show that he wasn't a fighter. I mean, in his case, holding the sword like a gun actually made sense - he has no idea what he's doing after all - and the way he swished it around aimlessly with his arms locked tight was also a nice move to illustrate that really, he's playing up but he can't handle a sword to save his life (... literally). The way the Warg basically killed himself by running into Sting was still believable - all Bilbo had to do was keep holding it the way he'd been holding it anyway - but the way he saved Thorin's life? I'm willing to believe that the Took in him took (no pun intended) over and made him try and jump in there, but actually accomplishing something? NEVER. That was the point at which the Aquilae ex Machina should've arrived to save the day, period.

And yeah, the melodramatics. Normally I'd say it's an American thing, but it's not even an American movie... *ducks*

Istar! Istar, damnit! I really thought I would dislike Radagast more! As it was, he was so OTT that I could simply ignore him. Sorta like Goblin Town. XD

[shadowbrides.livejournal.com]

Yeah. And I really didn't get why they had to alter that scene anyway. It just erased every bit of suspense from it - which was one of my main complaints about the movie anyway. I liked them climbing into trees and thinking they were safe from the wargs, only to have orcs arive later.

Let's just say it was influenced by the dominant American blockbuster movie culture? :P

I know! I will always picture Radagast as a crossbreed between St. Franciscus, Gandalf, and several other mythological personalities in my head. I pictured him sort of quiet and withdrawn, busy taking care of his bees and birds, sort of tired of all the wars going on all the time, sort of uninterested. This was...well. Different. And sorrryy. I know it's Istar, I swear. In my defense, I was half asleep when writing that.

[oloriel.livejournal.com]

Yup. In general, there were some bits where I just didn't understand why anyone felt the need for extra drama. Actually, that goes for the whole Azog arch. I think it would have been just as dramatic (and a lot less long-winded) without the "it's personal!" aspect. Let orcs be orcs, isn't that enough?
(So yeah, I dislike the Azog arch - not because it's "not canon", but because it's unnecessary. >_>)

Definitely. :P

I don't mind that Radagast went to Dol Guldur, nor that he informed Gandalf - so I'm ok with the "not uninterested" part - but I neither get why, in that case, he wouldn't be invited (and attend) the White Council meeting, nor why he had to be quite so over-the-top whacky. Oh well. Whatevs.
(It's ok. Saruman did it wrong first. >_>)

[allamistako.livejournal.com]

(Nitpick - shouldn't it be goblins?)

[oloriel.livejournal.com]

Nope; Tolkien later made it clear that they're Orcs, he just didn't dare to use the word back in 1937 because people would associate it with killer whales rather than nasty ugly vaguely humanoid creatures (presumably not having read Beowulf in the original). He got more courageous later on (and in the later German editions, it was amended from "Goblins" (which was used instead of "Kobolde" anyway) to "Orks"; I think it's still "goblins" in the English editions (though I haven't actually checked, shame on me). But Tolkien in fact worried that "goblins" might make people think of small, wrinkly, mildly naughty but ultimately harmless gnomes - fairy-tale goblins - rather than, well, what he envisioned as "Orcs" and just translated half-heartedly as "goblins".

But they're Orcs all right, and have been all along. :)

Fun fact aside: When we read and translated Beowulf in Anglo-Saxon class, the student reading it hesitated and translated it as "um... monsters?" Cue the professor: "Oh, just say 'orcs', I take it you all know what that means." :D

[allamistako.livejournal.com]

Okay - my UK-edition of the Hobbit (Late 80s copy) says goblins...

[oloriel.livejournal.com]

Yup. As I said, same difference. :)