Aulë hates me

[oloriel]

You'd think that stones in a garden get smaller over time. By friction, by invasive roots, by gardening tools, whatever. Smaller. Not bigger. Right?

When I started to turn the garden back into a garden, I hoed the ground and took out all larger and not-so-large rocks. The little ones, eh, there were too many of those to bother, and besides, they'd get smaller over time.
Now today I took out the last remaining potatoes because we're supposed to get serious frosts this week (which doesn't hurt the potatoes per se, but makes them inedible), and... I found stones. So many stones. Oh, so many BIG FAT lumps of rock.

I took all of them out two years ago! And then last year I picked out all I'd overlooked! And now there were all these rocks again! Seriously! Did they grow throughout the year? Must have! They weren't there in Spring! I HAVE A GARDEN THAT GROWS NEW ROCKS.

... I don't know how the newly grown rocks manage to have fossilised shells in them, but. I'm sure I can find a friendly creationist who explains how that happens. All I know is that I REMOVED ALL THESE FRICKING ROCKS AND THEY GREW BACK.
(This in a region that doesn't feature tectonic upheavals.)

Most of the potatoes were tiny. No wonder, since they were late to grow, then got too little rain, then got enough rain but too late... and oh, of course THERE WERE ALL THOSE FREAKIN' ROCKS HAMPERING THEIR GROWTH.

That's it; I'm giving up gardening.




Well, for this year, anyway.

Comments

[nelyo-russandol.livejournal.com]

I have worked out a plausible theory...

Aulë loves you! Or at least he believes your garden will make a good dwarvish nursery. These aren't stones, they are eggs. Dwarves reproduce in the same way as platypus do. Just think what will happen if you let them grow for a few years (they take a looong time to hatch). :o)

"#absurdity" was your tag, not mine.

[oloriel.livejournal.com]

If those were dwarf eggs, I'd hope they'd be less porose! They must also have been petrified for quite some time.

I didn't complain, did I? I mean, about your theory. XD

[jokergirl.livejournal.com]

Damn, you beat me to it. I wanted to write the exact same thing.

[sermanya.livejournal.com]

dwarven eggs with petrified shells? Hm. So that they have something to eat, when they hatch? :)

[nelyo-russandol.livejournal.com]

That. Yes.

[silver-trails.livejournal.com]

I was actually going to say that Aulë loves you, but the previous comment explains it so well. (g)

[oloriel.livejournal.com]

Well, he should send me something useful then! Slate, or sandstone, or just plain old clay! ;)

[elenbarathi.livejournal.com]

LOL, silly Elf, everybody's garden grows new rocks - or rather, rocks are always working their way up to the surface. It's the eternal blessing of Aule; we'll never run out.

[oloriel.livejournal.com]

I knoooow. Farmers talk about it all the time. Maybe I'd be less annoyed if it were any kind of useful stone. Instead, it's marl! Marl! What am I supposed to do with marl? (The German term, Mergel, sounds even less attractive. It's inspired the word ausgemergelt, which means "emaciated". It's what happens to you when there's too much marl in your field. Yaaaay. Blessing, my slightly-out-of-shape ass.)

[http://users.livejournal.com/macalla_/]

You could make it into a classical road side attraction. Complete with a big flashing sign and a motel *G*

OR you could cultivate it and grow it into a handsome dry wall ... or a house ... or a church (if you prune it and fertilize it you might coax it into growing stained glass windows!) ... the possibilities!!

[oloriel.livejournal.com]

Rock-growing fields are not, alas, uncommon. I'm just whining because it's happening to me, but farmers regularly claim that their fields grow new rocks throughout the year (as elenbarathi explains, it's rocks travelling up to the surface by some physical phenomenon).

Unfortunately, it's not the sort of rock that offers itself for building (I think it's marl (Mergel). Yep, the priceless mineral that's given us such positive adjectives as ausgemergelt). I've already used the big stones we took out of the ground in the past years for dry stone walls. Since the stone splits and breaks easily, you can't use it for anything that's meant to last. If it were proper slate, or sandstone, or anything else that's useful, I wouldn't be complaining (so much)!

[http://users.livejournal.com/macalla_/]

Well ... ok, it won't be a cathedral then ...
But it's still good enough to be thrown into a bowl of water and watch the water overflowing - I LOVED doing that as a little kid.

[oloriel.livejournal.com]

Oh ja. Ich werd's als Archimedes-Therapie zum Entschleunigen und Achtsamskeitstraining vermarkten! :D

[sermanya.livejournal.com]

In meinem Garten waren's Krokuszwiebeln. Ich hab ALLE ausgesiebt und es waren ca. 4-5 Eimer voll. Und im Nächsten Jahr waren sie wieder da. Alle. Wobei. Bei Krokussen ist das noch irgendwie nachvollziehbar ;)

[oloriel.livejournal.com]

Ja, also bei Zwiebeln überrascht mich das jetzt nicht so. (Nur mein Bärlauch verschwindet irgendwie immer :() Wobei, beim Sieben solltest du ja eigentlich auch die ganz klitzekleinen erwischt haben... aber in irgendwelchen Zwischenräumen verkriechen sie sich halt doch!