Live from Tel Aviv
May. 18th, 2019 09:04 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
olorielGuess who should be grading papers? But tonight is THE NIGHT, so instead I shall be liveblogging Eurovision! Or try to, anyway.
Preliminary thoughts:
My favourites - Hungary and Austria - have already been eliminated in the semifinals, I have to transfer my loyalties elsewhere. Sweden, possibly. Norways yoik-bop is also fun. I really don't like the bookies' favourite (as usual) from the Netherlands, so I hope they won't win.
Who the hell invited Madonna? Hey, remember a few years ago when Justin Timberlake was COMPLETELY upstaged by Peace Peace Love Love? I hope that's going to happen again.
All the countries!
Malta
Michela - Chameleon
Should've been kicked out on Thursday. Boy George did the Karma Chameleon thing better.
Albania
Jonida Maliqi - Ktheju Tokës
It's a ballad, but I rather like it? BELT IT OUT LADY
Czech Republic
Lake Malawi - Friend of a Friend
If Starfleet Academy had a boyband, this would be it. Hope the Redshirt won't get killed on stage.
Germany
Sisters - Sister
Their sister act would be more convincing if I didn't know they were casted mere weeks before the German selection show. Their song has since acquired more drive and intensity and is no longer quite so boring, but still not great.
Russia
Sergei Lazarew - Scream
Screaming in hyperdrive a.k.a. Crying in the shower: The musical. Doesn't make me scream, but doesn't make me cheer either
Denmark
Leonora - Love is Forever
Bringing back Ein bisschen Frieden.
Mother in law's guest commentary: "Reißt mich nicht vom Hocker!"
Group: *climbs giant chair*
Instant laughter
San Marino
Serhat - Say Na na na
Pretty much what it says on the tin. Boring. Also, wearing shorts with blazers should be outlawed over the age of 14.
North Macedonia
Tamara Todevska - Proud
The spirit of Erendis, live on stage. I actually rather love it? Don't expect this to win, but I'd actually like it to win.
Sweden
John Lundvik - Too Late for Love
With that voice? It's never too late for love! Not the most innovative, but I wouldn't mind if it wins.
Slovenia
Zala Kralj & Gašper Šantl - Sebi
This, on the other side, I honestly hate. She is cute and sings alright, but he is completely superfluous. Hate his pelvic thrust. Looks like he's thinking about jerking off to her singing.
Cyprus
Tamta - Replay
After last year's winner song was a woman singing about how she's not a toy, Cyprus is sending a woman very much making herself a toy. Classy. Not.
Netherlands
Duncan Laurence - Arcade
Boring. Boring, boring, and his long-suffering smoldering dudebro stares at the camera manage to tip it from mere boring territory safely into God I Hope This Doesn't Win territory. Unfortunately, it's the bookies' favourite. Hope they're wrong.
Greece
Katerine Duska - Better Love
This really isn't a great song, but it's so uplifting after the Netherlands emo crap that I rather enjoy it. Also, female fencers! Swordplay on stage is always a plus.
Israel
Kobi Marimi - Home
His voice is great. Pity he wastes it on a ballad. Makes me wish Shalva could've performed for Israel. I mean, I respect that they're not gonna work on a Shabbat but maybe they could've held the ESC on some other day? Not fair
UK
Michael Rice - Bigger Than Us
Bigger than Brexit. He looks like a childhood bully called Kevin and that doesn't exactly endear me to his boring ass song.
Iceland
Hatari - Hatrið mun sigra
Makes me uncomfortable for reasons that have nothing to do with the BDSM part of it. I keep reading on Tumblr that it's about ~the children~ and ~securing the future~ and it feels like some kind of 13 word thing to me. Not sure they aren't looking forward to the victory of hatred and the collapse of Europe they're singing about. Look, maybe I'm reading too much into this? But if your brand of anti-capitalism looks rather fascistoid, I don't care whether it's ironic or genuine.
Estonia
Victor Crone - Storm
Victor has stolen Indiana Jones' look. Song is catchy but unremarkable. *shrug*
Belarus
ZENA - Like It
Another unremarkable song that shouldn't have made it into the finals when superior songs were voted out in the semifinals.
Azerbaijan
Chingiz - Truth
The chorus goes "Shut up about it" and I wish they'd take their own advice. Booooring.
France
Bilal Hassani - Roi
Watching this with my super fatphobic and low-key homophobic mother-in-law was An Experience. The song itself is hypnotic and the message is good. Wouldn't mind if this wins just to piss off the MIL.
Italy
Mahmood - Soldi
I really wish I'd like this more just to annoy all those right-wing Italian politicians, but I find it rather repetitive and boring, sorry
Serbia
Nevena Božović - Kruna
I like her aesthetic, but the song's just another boring ballad. Also she reminds me of someone and I can't put my finger on it.
Switzerland
Luca Hänni - She Got Me
Another favourite that does nothing for me. Reminds me of Sweden's solid but uninspiring performance last year. Somewhat more catchy than that. Still boring.
Australia
Kate Miller-Heidke - Zero Gravity
Sweet Varda Elentari on a pogo stick. This is what being high must feel like.
I can't help but wonder where they put those stilts and judging by their orgasmic smiles I'm getting ALL the wrong ideas.
I guess Australia has finally fully embraced the Eurovision spirit tho?
Spain
Miki - La Venda
Show reminds me of last year's Moldavian entry. It's never good if an entry just looks like a more colourful reboot of something from last year. The song is a reasonably enjoyable summer party anthem.
Voting intermission
The "Sing my song" game is fun, I guess, but it's NOT what I was hoping for in terms of upstaging Madonna.
Madonna was... actually rather sad? Not hitting her high notes. Lots of faded glory, hyped up until nobody cared anymore. Almost sorry for her.
-- North Macedonia is actually doing quite well so far! Nice!
Germany got a well-deserved 0 points from the popular vote!
Sad Norway didn't do better.
OK. Italy or North Macedonia or Sweden please!
But no, the emo hipster dudebro from the Netherlands won. Boo. BOO EUROPE. You had it in your hands and you thew it away. Might as well have voted for Madonna.
OMG miss me with the Israel hate right now. Y'all watched Eurovision in Azerbaijan and Russia with minimal fuss, so you can as well shut up now.
no subject
Date: 2019-05-18 07:57 pm (UTC)LOL!
We're not watching it (Siljan wants to play Skyrim, with my blessings), and I didn't follow anything so far. Your commentaries are most entertaining, though! :o) Checked out the videos so far, and must say, I'm with your MIL, although with all so far (until Denmark as I'm typing this). I might have become too cynic for the whole business by now, though. :op
no subject
Date: 2019-05-18 08:03 pm (UTC)Also, wearing shorts with blazers should be outlawed over the age of 14.
*totally agrees* *pours mindbleach in eyes*
North Macedonia: I see what you mean. It's not my style of music, but it's solid, well-made music, well-presented, so I hope it gets a high placement, too. (You can always hope that quality is honoured....)
Edit: *agrees about Sweden and Slovenia*
no subject
Date: 2019-05-19 09:06 am (UTC)Thansk again for the commentaries, they were spot-on and great fun! :o)
no subject
Date: 2019-05-19 01:55 pm (UTC)