The lyf so short

Dude, Azruhâr, you haven't talked to me in three frickin' years and now you want to tell me your entire story at once? Not fair! What the hell is wrong with you? I have a life! I have a family, a house and a garden! I need my sleep! I CAN'T TYPE THAT FAST! Seriously, slow down!

[I'm aware that after this post, he'll probably go and sulk for another three years, but it's no good if I have the whole story in my head and can't get it written down, either.]

Living in a veeery secluded place in a veeery small town in a veeery well-populated land of a coupla million streets, when the Google Streetview camera car scare went around last year I thought "Hah, they'll never come down my street anyway."

Well, good thing I didn't put any money on that, because what drove past our house just when I was getting ready to drive to work?

Yup. The Google Streetview camera car. Black Opel Zafira w/ French license plate, with MASSIVE camera buildup on roof.

In my secluded street.

Bzuh!

In other news, it's a really bad idea to watch PotC: At World's End while in Akallabêth-in-August writing mode. Oh, the crack bunnies! >_>

My brain as a whole has been eaten by plot bunnies, and then that. I CANNOT WORK LIKE THIS. And I must. *headwalls*

SO we’ve been translating laws in Anglo-Saxon class, first (excerpts from) the Laws of Æthelbeorht and then (excerpts from) the Laws of Alfred the Oh-So-Great. And I, who enjoyed Law class in grade 10 (we were allowed to eat pizza in class!) but otherwise think all things Jurassic juristic are rather tedious, find myself fascinated by laws.

Researching Anglo-Saxon law you’ll frequently find the opinion (mostly expressed in the late 19th/ early 20th century) that them Anglo-Saxons were on the whole a rather uncivilised mercenary society because most of their laws are lists on how to compensate someone for an injury or misdeed one has done. Because ZOMG how could they ever think it was correct to just pay a certain sum and be done with the issue. (You could even get away with murder if you payed the wergild to the victim’s lord and kin. Wergild not being someone who turns into money every full moon, in case you were wondering, but rather the price a person was worth.)
I dunno, personally I find that “You broke my wife’s cousin’s jaw, now you owe him 20 shillings (and twelve more if his ability to speak is seriously impaired)” is a lot more civilised than “You broke my wife’s cousin’s jaw, I keel you dead in the name of family honour”. An eye for an eye leaves the whole world blind; thirty shillings for an eye won’t bring the eye back, but recompense the disadvantages a semi-blind person might have in a society of warriors. (And thirty shillings were quite a lot of money back then.) Of course if you didn’t pay the victim (or their family) would be after you like nothing good, but at least you had the option of settling the whole thing peacefully at all. Or compared to somewhat later times - what's more civilised, making a thieve swear that he'll repay the 12-fold value of a gold crucifix he stole from a church (or else!), or flaying him alive right away? Thanks, I'll take Anglo-Saxon law. You say mercenary like it's a bad thing.

Of course it’s also fascinating to see where the old Anglo-Saxons placed the most value. In the lists of how much you get to pay for what body part, for example, you see that making someone speech-impaired is not as expensive as taking their thumb off (of course, in a society of warriors and farmers, the thumb is a pretty vital appendage, whereas speaking is optional…). The pinkie is more valuable than either middle or ring finger – you need it as a counterbalance when gripping a sword, whereas the ring finger is only needed for jewellery and the tasks of the middle finger can easily be done by the other fingers. Front teeth are more expensive than molars, and things are also priced according to how long they take to heal. People obviously had a lot of experience in these things.

And of course there are gender issues and the strengthening influence of the church (at some point you get to pay nine-fold for stealing from the King (or else…!), but eleven-fold for stealing from a bishop – which I in Æthelbeorht’s place would’ve found slightly unfair!) and the changing concept of kingship ("random guy who happens to command everybody" to "God's annointed, practically holy") and political issues and all kinds of fun stuff.
And plotbunnies.

Laws of Alfred: Firstly we decree that which is of the utmost importance, namely that everybody must faithfully keep every oath and promise they make…
Me: Same old, same old…
Laws of Alfred: … unless they are forced to do evil or improper deeds, or aid somebody in evil or improper deeds, in order to fulfil an oath; in which case the oath is voided.
Me: … SMART move.
Maglor: Soooo, ever wondered who put the “Alf” in “Alfred”*?
Me: *facepalms* Like I needed another plotbunny.

Laws of Alfred: If somebody forces a serving woman to sleep with him…
Me: Yeah, right, pay a fine to the woman’s lord…
Laws of Alfred: … let him pay five shillings to the woman’s lord…
Me: Knew it. Misogynist Anglo-Saxon bastard.
Laws of Alfred: … and sixty shillings to the woman. Or if he cannot pay, let him be castrated.
Me: Awww, Alfred, you sweetheart.

In Bernard Cornwell’s Saxon Stories, Alfred the Great is depicted (mostly by the books’ protagonist, Uhtred, who is a rather hairy uncivilised warrior bastard himself) as a rather annoying, pale, pious, pompous weakling, and a bad harpist, too; but I have to admit that the more I read on Alfred, the more I get to like him.


*Alfred meaning “elf-counsel”. It can be discussed whether that is supposed to mean “counselled by Elves” or “counselling Elves”, though the former is more likely.

Today at work I discovered they removed the exhibition photos in the corridors.
Of course I am not quite certain what photography student art has to do with a simulator centre, but I liked those photos. Some were really good. The "One Day in the Life of Maki the Tomcat" series, for example. And at any rate the corridors are looking sad and empty now.
At least I made Colleague S. happy by mentioning that. "Oh, somebody noticed after all!" Poor man, trying to bring art to the scornful macho instructors at our company!
He said "something better" is going to come up soon.
Eh.

- - -
I do NOT need the pseudo-apocalyptic Dagor Dagorath plotbunny to come back. Or rather I did not need it to come back; as it's already shown up, the past tense is appropriate. Why do these plotbunnies always show up when I'm already working on other stories? I have three stories to finish, brloody hell, I do not need a fourth, and certainly not an apocalyptic Real World/Silmarillion crossover!
And I certainly don't want to make it a graphic fanfic. I have no time or patience for drawing comics, let alone a whole novel-sized fic!

- - -
I also do not need another crack bunny vaguely containing Vairë the network administrator, do I. Although that's totally what she would do if she were a mere deity who had to go with the times or perish.

- - -
I blame both of those on my re-reading of Good Omens and on reading The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen.

- - -
I finally got around to importing all my bookmarks from the old computer to the laptop, and because I'm a thmart gal, I checked them all to see whether they were still working.
Aside from the fact that I'm embarassingly amused by the fact that the Tolkien estate made all the linkies on their page in Tengwar and translated them into Quenya, turning "website" into natsenómë ("net-place"), it probably says a lot about me that I had the link to the Online Etymology Dictionary in the "fun stuff" folder and the link to the French Revolutionary calendar converter in the "useful stuff" folder... >_>

This is just for my amusement, and to feed the plotbunnies. No further implications are meant, although you are, of course, free to amuse yourselves with this, too.

- - -
The cooperative principle:
Make your contribution such as is required at the stage at which it occurs, by the accepted purpose or direction of the talk exchange in which you are engaged.

The maxim of quality:
Try to make your contribution one that is true. Specifically:
- Do not say what you believe to be false.
- Do not say that for which you lack adequate evidence.

The maxim of quantity:
- Make your contribution as informative as is required.
- Do not make your contribution more informative than is required.

The maxim of relation:
Make your contribution relevant.

The maxim of manner:
- Avoid obscurity.
- Avoid ambiguity.
- Be brief.
- Be orderly.


There are flouts. Some of them are conventional (jokes, metaphors, irony).


~Herbert Paul Grice
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Eeeeee, a linguistic dictatorship!