Eurovision time at last!

Soooo! Welcome to the Eurovision Song Contest 2017 not-entirely-live blog. I'll take it that all my gentle readers are familiar with the delightful, over-the-top insanity that's the ESC, but just in case anyone isn't, last year's hosts kindly provided a performance to explain how to produce the perfect winner song, which explains... well, not everything, but a lot:

Peace Peace Love Love (And A Burning Fake Piano)

It is worth noting that all of the things on that stage have been done in past years - yes, including the hamster wheel, the butter-churning, the Russian guy on skates and the Finnish monster rockers - although not all of them have actually won. (Quite a few of them have, though!)

It is also worth nothing that there are actually several winner songs that were not about Love Love Peace Peace, including last year's (and also including Måns' own song "Heroes", which was more about... fighting your inner demons? Something like that, anyway). But on the whole, this is pretty appropriate.

( And this is where we apply a cut for length )