From Russia With Love

[oloriel]

Fandom, it seems, is not without a certain sense of irony.

For the last two days, I've been stewing in a bit of self-pity because my would-be epic War of Wrath artwork for the Silmarillion 40 collection hasn't been getting the attention I'd been hoping for (which sucks particularly because I've been waiting for the reveal for two months). I mean, I know it's not perfect but it's not that bad, either. I was telling me to be a grown-up and suck it up, it was probably just a busy week for everyone, etc. etc., but yeah, I was disappointed and about to whine about it on LJ.

On the other hand, today I discovered that the Russian guys who printed that beautiful physical book of The Tempered Steel have by now progressed to apparently do cosplay and photoshoots (or fully fledged re-enactment?) based on my fan novel. HOLY WHAT. I honestly don't know how to deal with that level of appreciation! Should I blush and hide, or should I squeal? I guess I'll end up doing a bit of both for the rest of the day, in an "I am not worthy but please don't stop" kind of way. Seriously, I've lost all ability to even can.

As a result, disappointment and utter elation have followed each other so quickly that I don't know what to feel and asfdklhdfgw I'll just slink off and watch this, all red-faced like Caranthir and grinning doofily all like myself. Holy wow, you gals, I was not prepared.

Comments

[heartofoshun]

You should be really proud of the work you did that warrants that kind of appreciation and approval. I am an enormous fan of the group that does that cosplay and takes those photos. Their work is spectacular! (I am so jealous of you! I would die for that kind of support for any of my work!)

Sorry you were disappointed in the response to the War of Wrath piece (now I hope I wrote a comment!! I certainly looked at it several times and intended to!!). It does not matter to me how many times I get disappointing responses to things I spend hours, weeks, or months working on, I am still as broken-hearted next time around when it happens again. I cannot be stoic when I throw my heart into something and nobody cares.

Incidentally, my top five stories on AO3 are not even close to being in what I considered the top 20 or 30 of what I have written. It's weird. So it is not like someone can tell me change this or do that differently and people will like your work. Doesn't work that way at all!

Anyway, I sympathize with you feeling under-appreciated and I rejoice with you at the wonderful tribute to "Tempered Steel."

[oloriel]

I know! I should never whine again! What an incredible boost.

But as you say, no matter how often we end up disappointed, the next time is always just as bad. I'm relieved I'm not the only one who takes it so much to heart. I have some stories also that I absolutely love but that have received no or very little attention. OTOH, my magna opera (which I'm reasonably happy with) are all quite popular, even The Embalmer's Apprentice which is entirely OC-centric, set in the 2nd age AND written in 1st person. So I really shouldn't complain. Should, should!

You did comment! You were the first to do so, in fact. And sure, if Dawn agrees, by all means use it as an illustration for your bio or link to it, whichever works better. :)

Thank you so much for your kind words!

[heartofoshun]

I never felt this way when I wrote things for money! Usually because--well, I got paid at least! Sure I loved it when something got a lot of praise or attention. But I never felt devastated if it didn't!

Thanks so much!! I will ask Dawn about it, when she actually gets around to reading the bio. (I finished early--a rare, rare occurrence!)

[oloriel]

Same - when I write for money, it's just a job. But when I write for fandom, it's, well, also for myself, but part of the gratification comes from sharing it and knowing that it is well-received! (Though letters to the editor praising an article I wrote are also nice! But I don't depend on them!)

[heartofoshun]

I just read Dawn's comments/nitpicks on my next character bio and was laughing to myself at how often she uses carrots* to keep me going and they work for me! No comments at all on something or nothing but complaints does not make me want to work harder or better.

(*Your English is so perfect that I sometimes forget I am talking to you in your second language--I was presuming you know the carrot vs. the stick debate--but in case not--the old saying that a cart driver might motivate a reluctant mule by dangling a carrot in front its nose or by smacking it on the rear with a stick. The carrot works for me, but not the stick. Not to say I do not appreciate constructive suggestions.)

[oloriel]

We have a similar saying in German - Zuckerbrot und Peitsche, i.e. "sweet bread and the whip" - though in that adage, you're expected to use both as appropriate/necessary. So I guess it's more in a sense of reward and punishment, and less about equally viable means of motivation? But whatever, it's close enough, I guess!

Dawn is great at packaging even her (justified) criticism kindly. It's an art of its own!

[heartofoshun]

I've heard 'carrot and the stick' also, but more often 'carrot or the stick.' I love looking for equivalent expressions in other languages. One can learn a lot about cultural differences when one cannot find one.

[kaja_lakoka]

You have an illustrated book? A cosplay? My, chapeau bas! That's just freaking awesome!

I know what you mean when you talk about disappointment. Sometimes, I just keep asking myself why I do this to myself on and on (and I don't mean the Silm40 event, only the fandom in general). But, with the weekend ahead of us, maybe people will review more and I hope you get more nice comments on your artwork, because it's worth a ton of them :)

[oloriel]

I know! It's the best thing and I should stop being whiny and entitled. >_>

Yes! For all that we say that we write or paint (predominantly) for ourselves, in the end, when we share our stuff, we want it to be acknowledged and adored, right? You're probably right, people will have more time to catch up on the weekend. Then I'll be properly ashamed of my impatience. ^^

[hhimring]

I loved that blow-by-blow account you gave of the War or Wrath artwork on Tumblr, with a close-up of Earendil's fighting posture and all that!
I'm planning to have another look at it, now it's the weekend. Is it anywhere else except on Tumblr?
I had already admired how many different birds you did (not just an eagle or two, as you see sometimes), but I realized that I had missed quite a bit of the detail. Well, I hadn't had time for more than a quick look.

And that photoshoot is awesome!

[oloriel]

The walkthrough is only on Tumblr (but I'm linking to the specific post on my dA account so you don't have to go searching through Tumblr). I thought posting it here as well as there would look too needy. (Though I guess I have revealed my neediness with this post anyway.) Thank you for your kind words! I've had this painting in my head ever since I wrote Azruhâr arriving in Andúnie, and though it didn't turn out nearly as spectacular as it was in my head, I'm still so relieved to have done it. (I tried for B2MeM already but that went totally wrong.)
Again, thank you.

[heartofoshun]

I found the Tumblr entry through the Deviantart link. I never see anything on Tumblr--I log on and I scroll until I get bored. I am sure there is a more organized way to keep track of friends, but I haven't figured it out yet!

[oloriel]

I need to remember that as a newbie, I still have a (reasonably) organised dashboard and people who have been there longer and follow way more people can't manage to keep track of everything, I guess. I still have to learn the ropes around Tumblr! I guess next time I'll risk annoying those who follow me in both places and post here as well as there. ^^

[independence1776]

I'm not ignoring it! It's just that I haven't started reading the Silm40 collection yet (only bits and pieces), so I want to go in order. (But I hear you about things you love being ignored; I suffer from the same thing.)

I was a bit surprised to see the breakdown only on Tumblr; I only saw that by happenstance.

But wow!!!!! That photoshoot is awesome and amazing!

[oloriel]

*flails* Most people probably have/had good reasons like that. It's just been such a long build-up that I couldn't wait any longer. >_> Take your time. As I should have known, the weekend brought more activity.

I have yet to learn how to tumbl properly! I expected that people might be more likely to see it there when in fact the opposite is the case. (Not everyone has a laid-back dashboard like newbie me, as I should have realised.) I guess in the future, I'll risk annoying the people who follow me both here and there and post it in both places. Or just here, maybe? Have to experiment some more, I guess!

Isn't it! I'm so amazed and, quite frankly, a bit humbled!

[independence1776]

I'm glad the weekend brought more activity! I'm getting started today, so hopefully I'll be done within a couple of days.

My dash there became unmanagable when I followed about twenty people. Frankly, I don't think crossposting it is a bad thing; if people see it twice, they can ignore it the second time. Or you could post it here and link to it on Tumblr? Anyway, feel free to experiment; I don't actually have the answers. :P

[satismagic]

I'm sorry that response to your artwork has been less than enthusiastic. :( The perspective really wowed me, so dramatic. And the details are so much fun to look at!

Wow about your Russian fans, how amazing is that??? First a book, now cosplay? Whoa!!! Congratulations on writing something that inspiring! \o/

[oloriel]

First: Happy Birthday! I hope it's a good one and the year ahead will be even better!

Second, thank you so much! It was fun to paint, but of course I also like to be petted and told that other people enjoy looking at it... *hugs*

I certainly am amazed. To be fair, they're first and foremost doing Silmarillion cosplay, but they're still using my fanfic to guide them? So yeah. Must have done something right for a change. ;)

[satismagic]

Dankeschön.

Wo 42 doch die Antwort auf alles ist, hab ich gedacht, vielleicht gibt's da irgendeine kosmische Erleuchtung oder so... war aber nix. Tja... Vielleicht im nächsten Leben!

[oloriel]

Aber ein paar Antworten hast du doch im vergangenen Jahr gefunden. Und wenn man weiß, dass die Fragen teilweise einfach nicht passen, ist das doch auch schon was? *hugs*