The lyf so short

After exam!prof actually asked me whether I wouldn't want to write my Magistra thesis (look! I am being all technically and politically correct, and now nobody outside the German [or Latin]-speaking world will know what I'm talking about!) for him and I said I'd think about a topic, I...
... didn't really do much about it.

I mean, I had three basic ideas in mind, but they're all very fuzzy and vague and I didn't have the time to do any preliminary research yet as I have to finish another term paper first anyway.
These ideas were, basically (poor laurenia already had to listen to me prattling about this, but the rest of you may as well suffer along):

a) A comparative study of Anglo-Saxon fiction and non-fiction, esp. poetry on the fiction side and administrative and exhortative prose on the other, looking for traces of oral tradition in the poetry (which obviously was written down or we wouldn't know about it today, but in many cases was probably composed and passed down orally before someone finally penned it down) and the (hopefully) far less frequent occurance of such traces in the prose (which was composed and consumed in writing in the first place). If the "typically oral" formulae etc. also show up in the typically written genres (or in the poetry where, thanks to puns that only work when you read it, we can be fairly certain that it was composed in writing; yes, Cynewulf, I'm looking at YOU)... well, then we know that they're not, in fact, any measure for the orality or literacy of a text. Which might still be relevant knowledge, so hey.

b) Pretty much the same thing but with Anglo-Saxon alliterative poetry that may have been composed orally, and Middle English poems from the Alliterative Revival in the 14th century that was very, very, very likely composed in writing, to see how much (besides the alliteration) they have in common, and what conclusion that allows us concerning oral or written composition.

c) This would basically be an extension of my term paper, changed enough to meet exam regulations (which state that I'm not allowed to write the thesis on the same topic I got the Schein in). As my main problem with the paper towards the end was that I had only one text type to compare it with and it would have been more fruitful to compare it to further written genres, this time something to include more texts from other genres (and possibly more language developments, too) would've been good.

All three would have been corpus-based (I love corpus linguistics). Case c) would be the easiest to delineate, as I've already worked with the Helsinki Corpus and already did a study around language development in the Early Modern English period, so I'd know what I'd be dealing with from the start. This is also the only one where I definitely know that there are going to be useful results one way or another, where I could easily add or remove data in order to reach or stay within the 60-page limit. However, case a) and b) would be really interesting, too; it's just hard to judge whether they'd yield any fruitful results, and if they do, whether it's the "enough for 20 pages" kind or the "100 pages at least" kind or the "somewhere around 60 pages" kind I'd need for the thesis. So before I could even choose either of these topics, I'd first have to do the full analysis necessary to actually write on them. Which is difficult, because it would very likely take a long time, and I'd have to choose and possibly digitise the texts in question, and meanwhile I'd have to sign up before I may officially start doing that analysis, but in order to sign up (at which point I already should have cleared the topic with the prof) I'd first have to do the analysis - or fly blind. So a) and b) would be rather more risky. But equally fascinating. Argh.

So I haven't been able to make up my mind in any way, and thus haven't talked to the prof again. Which was slightly worrying because he'd probably forget he'd agreed to read my thesis, or worse, wouldn't forget but be pissed off that I took so long to decide. But, argh.

Now today in a lecture with that selfsame prof, during half-time he walked up to where I was sitting and said, "I've had an idea for your thesis topic, if you're interested."
I tried to mumble something intelligent which resulted in something along the lines of "Oh good, I'll go attend your office hour", and spent the other half of the lecture silently panicking. Fortunately my seat neighbour - same one with whom I did the presentation on Ælfric - did her best to reassure me.
So after the lecture I waited for the office hour, Andie still keeping me company, and then suddenly laurenia showed up on her way to the Philosophikum, who also reassured me that I wouldn't have to take the topic if it was something that didn't interest me and the prof likely wouldn't let that count against me and perhaps it would be something I'd actually like to write on after all.

What he suggested in the end was that I'd look at language development in Early Modern English again, but more developments than the three I chose for the term paper, and in more genres than the two I used for the term paper, and instead of focusing on religious language and archaicism the focus might be on the process of standardisation of English across different genres.
So basically c), only more precise and with a focus I hadn't thought of.
Which, frankly, sounds pretty fascinating.
(I mean, if you're weird like me.)
And moreoever it sounds doable. I think I'd like to include texts from the late Middle English period already in order to have a nice starting point before the change actually starts. And maybe this time I could include the development of do-support, which is madly confusing but also rather interesting, and, oh no, I've already begun to plan, haven't I? And, well, I'm sure I'll pine a little for ideas a) and b), but I can always shelve them for a Ph.D. or something.

I feel kind of bad about the topic - and my other topic ideas - because all of these are fun topics. Academic fun, but fun nonetheless. I mean, historical linguistics is practically another fandom of mine. Writing an extensive thesis in this field is, when it comes down to it, kind of like fan fiction. Lots of work, sure, and a pain in the rear when the muses don't cooperate, and doubtlessly it'll take far longer than I'd like, but still, it's fun work. I doubt you're supposed to have fun writing your thesis. You're supposed to write about nasty topics that chew your brains out and drive you up walls and torture you with absurd theories and ugly arguments. This topic might have been a proper thesis topic in the olden days when you still had to read every single text in full and count every single occurance of every single paradigm by hand, but in these days of computerised corpora and search algorithms and POS tagging, all I have to do is pick up the pieces and put them together. And while I enjoy doing this, and am not entirely incompetent at it, there are other fields of linguistics I have forgotten everything about, so I feel kind of bad about getting off so easily.

If I get off. I still have to write it, after all.
Just now it looks too good to be true.

- - -

In completely unrelated news, the tit now manages to stay airborne for so long that one can actually speak of "flying" now. It can't cover distances beyond one or two metres (depending on how high up it is when it starts) and sags very much, and it can't change directions in flight because its tail feathers aren't fully grown yet, but it definitely knows how to stay aloft. Still needs to be fed, though. There's a nice caterpillar and some plant lice on the branches I cut for its cage, but so far it has looked at them without even trying to eat them. And it's not like lice or caterpillars move particularly fast.

And while I'm keeping the little great tit alive upstairs, Darcy went outside and killed a nightingale. >.

I hate it when freshly scrubbed floors look dusty HALF AN HOUR AFTER I FUCKING SCRUBBED THEM.

I hate it when everything goes wrong and the final straw makes me explode and I can't do my good ole reliable stress-relief routine of listening to angry music loudly because even slightly-above-normal Les Miserables is Too Loud.

I hate crying randomly.

I hate my stupid fucking finger which JUST WON'T HEAL, and that tries to make me want to cut it off every time after cleaning or doing dishes. [and hah, why not; after all, we just bought a lovely sharp new kitchen knife. Hah. Hah. Yes, I'm kidding.]

I hate having exactly five Euros left for the rest of the Erudamn year [before paying the rent, hahah], and then having someone imply that I'm abusing his good-naturedness. [I can only hope some relative decides that gifting money is, sometimes, not 'loveless' after all.]

I HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE the last preparations before Christmas. You know what? I want to be a kid again when everything's just suddenly there.

I hate feeling all useless and worthless and being good for nothing but writing silly self-pitying LJ entries.

- - -
( Gucke da, ein Weihnachtsstresstier )
- - -

I am doomed.
Utterly and entirely doomed.

I'm so fucking stupid. Someone just shoot me.

FREEDOM! It's done, over with, finished.
Strangely, I don't have the usual after-exam feeling. My usual after-exam feeling is emptiness. Right now, I'm positively euphoric. This is a day to create new worlds. This is a day to do something unforgettable. I swear the raindrops were evaporating when they touched my skin.

This is not right. I should be angsty and depressed.